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Player Ratings

GIMH

Norwood's on Fire
For the series as a whole

England

Strauss 8 - Batted decently without making a big score. Captaincy never gets a lot of praise but there can't have been many captains to lead teams that win this big this often. Got the bowling choices right most of the time and clearly has the respect of his men. In fact I'm gonna bump him up to an 8.
Cook 7.5 - Struggled heaps early on, played a monsterous innings at Edgbaston, got a start at The Oval and generally good in the field
Trott 7 - A glance at his series average suggests he was below par. However, one of those innings was a crackhead innings. And another one was a vital 70 when India were all over us on day one. It won't be remembered much after all the runs that were plundered during the series, but it could have been very different had he got out then
Pietersen 9 - His best ever series, his rut seems an awfully long time ago now
Bell 9 - See above in many ways - there can't be too many doubts left about Bell
Morgan 5 - Played a couple of decent innings but struggled heaps. Should do well in the subcontinent but needs to work hard to get up to the required level against quality pace before the Saffas visit
Bopara 5 - On a bit of a hiding to nothing but really should have cashed in at Edgbaston. Robbed of a 50 by rain but looked decent at The Oval. Will get another chance.
Prior 8 - Outperformed his opposite number by an enormous amount, best in the world
Bresnan 9 - Shone with ball and bat
Broad 10 - one of the great series, made top-class batsmen look like amateurs. Wouldn't make India's strongest XI though
Anderson 9 - what else could I say aside from cliches?
Tremlett 6 - A disappointing match by his standards. Wasn't missed much but only because Brezza was so good - Tremmers would have destroyed the likes of Raina given the lack of any ability to play the short ball
Swann 5 - As usual he came to the party when the situation really called for him, and he did okay at Lord's. Won't want to see much of his bowling from TB ever again though.

India

Sehwag 0 - Can't play the moving ball. Unfit but wouldn't have done anything anyway because he isn't good enough
Gambhir 1 - Off the top of my head I can't think of anything noticeable he did aside from bang his head
Mukund 1 - Better than Sehwag
Dravid 9 - one of three standout batsmen in the series and India's best player by a mile. Deserves a rest, not an ODI call-up
Tendulkar 5 - Rarely looked on song, Broad and Anderson made him look ordinary
Laxman 3 - Unfortunate to be shunted about so much but looked fairly clueless fairly often.
Yuvraj 5 - Played one decent innings, one joke innings, bowled filth
Raina 2 - India's second best bowler
Dhoni 3 - Demonstrated good sportsmanship with his brainless batting, laughable keeping and bizarre captaincy, as well as recalling Bell. India's third best bowler
Harbajhan 1 - Awful
Mishra 3 - Stop bowling no-balls. In fact, stop bowling. India's second best batsman
Praveen 8 - Exceeded expectations with the ball, an entertainer with the bat
Sharma 2 - One very good spell, disastrous the rest.
Sreesanth 1 - An embarassment of a cricketer and human being
Zaheer 0 - Ever heard of a gym? Wanker
 
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four_or_six

Cricketer Of The Year
What I reckon for the series...

Strauss - 8: Excellent captaincy of the team right from 51 all out and the KP/Moores debacle to the best team in the world. Got lots of starts and should have gone on, but hey, an average of nearly 40 against the "number one" team in the world isn't a disaster.
Cook - 8: Started poorly but boy did he make up for it, showed why he'll end up as one of England's all time great batsmen. Just a shame he didn't make 300.
Trott - 7: Made a key contribution in the first innings of the series, injury put paid to any monster innings from him this time around.
Bell - 10: Loads of runs, and at number 3 at that. Absolutely awesome in at short leg too.
Pietersen - 10: Couldn't really have done much more. Is he finally back?
Morgan - 7: Needs to do more to cement the place, but got the hundred at Edgbaston and I reckon he's worth sticking with.
Bopara - 6: Didn't really have much of a chance to be fair, but I'm not convinced.
Prior - 9: Was lucky enough to be at Lord's for his hundred, have to say at 62-5 when he came to the crease we were all ****ing ourselves. The stand with Broad was possibly the most important stand of the series. Didn't really notice him behind the stumps, in a good way.
Bresnan - 9: Has come such a long way since we were all wondering why the hell he was going to Australia last winter. Excellent bowling, and his batting has been so good that no-one can complain that he comes in ahead of Broad. The new Flintoff.
Broad - 10: Absolutely fantastic all-round series. Let's hope there's loads more of this kind of bowling to come. Can't complain about anything, even appeals towards the umpire now. The new Flintoff.
Swann - 7: As always, bowled us to victory on the spinners track. Didn't really have a lot to do, only really asked to perform on two occassions - once with the bat, once with the ball - and delivered on both.
Anderson - 9: Brilliant series, so consistently awesome.
Tremlett - 6: Bowled fine before he was injured.

Sehwag - 0: Should never have played, was rubbish when he did, apparently has too big an ego to even practice against spinners. Gets two points for playing injured, loses them again because he played through the IPL with said injury.
Gambhir - 2: Did have one half-decent innings. Will let him off the concussion, but seems crazy he didn't play at Trent Bridge due to an elbow injury and then spent the first day doing high intensity fielding drills.
Mukund - 3: Also had one half-decent innings. Finally got a century in the tour match after the second test but was then dropped so Sehwag could come back and save the day. Lol.
Dravid - 9: Absolutely bloody awesome. Such a fighter and a great batsman. Loses a point for shoddy slip fielding.
Tendulkar - 5: Disappointing in the extreme for someone of his caliber. Did make a couple of reasonable scores but took far too long in the series to get going. Didn't exactly have any strut, didn't move up to three in the batting order when there were injuries, constantly complained about people behind the bowler's arm and was anonymous in the field. To be fair though, scored more than twice as many as Ponting did against us over the winter. :ph34r:
Laxman - 3: I don't actually remember Laxman doing anything except getting out. Apparently he scored a couple of 50's.
Raina - 1: Looked all at sea, should have been dropped really, was a bit unfair to keep him in the side. Bowled pies, but did at least get a few wickets.
Yuvraj - 2: Did get a fifty, but was injured because of his complete incompetance with short pitched bowling. Should stick to playing ODIs and T20s.
Dhoni - 1: Had a couple of decent innings but boy oh boy his keeping was dire. Loses five points for that, absolutely shocking. Good spirit of the game moment recalling Bell.
Harbhajan - 2: Didn't he used to be good? Never looked threatening, even before the injury. One of the few Indian players to at least look like he was trying.
Mishra - 2: I can't believe he's the best India have in the spin department, and the no-balls were particularly bad. Showed great fight with the bat.
Praveen - 8: Bowled well, loved his fight with the bat, though it was great in the field when he berated even the old greats when they fielded like crap. Has enhanced his reputation.
Sharma - 4: Bowled a beautiful spell at Lord's, and a decent one at the Oval. Was a bit let down by dropped catches. Wasn't good enough but there's something to work with.
Sreesanth - 2: Didn't bowl well, and his acting up on the field is pretty embarrassing. Fielded well, shouldn't have had to do so much running when he was bowling so much.
RP Singh - 0: Disasterously bad. No idea why he got picked, crazy stuff.
Zaheer - 0: What do you expect if you turn up unfit? Should never have played, took two wickets, sure, but handicapped the team for the second innings and they tired when they had us on the ropes.
 
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Stapel

International Regular
Broad 10 - one of the great series, made top-class batsmen look like amateurs. Wouldn't make India's strongest XI though
:laugh:

You have been wanting to rub that one in to some posters, not? Fair enough!



About your rating: IMHO Swann doesn't deserve a 5. Sure, he only really came to the party, when the situation was his, but it's fair to say his bowling wasn't needed. Just like this winter's Ashes Series, many matches were won (or virtually in the bag), before the captain called for him. He really showed class by doing his part, when he was finally really needed. He had to wait six weeks for that!
 

morgieb

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Strauss 7 - batting was not great, but still deserves props for leading a team to a 4-0 victory against the No. 1 team.
Cook 8 - one great innings, not a lot else.
Trott 5 - played meh before getting hurt....still got a decent innings though.
Pietersen 9.5 - holy ****, look who's back! 2 big innings bookend his comeback? series.
Bell 9.5 - awesome, again.
Morgan 6 - decent ton, not much else apart from that. Isn't test quality ats.
Bopara 6 - meh.
Prior 8.5 - his lower-order batting was quality, so was his keeping. Good series.
Broad 10 - here I was thinking he'd be dropped :laugh:
Bresnan 9 - here I was thinking he'd be useless :laugh:
Swann 5 - pedestrian, although he didn't really get a major role to play until the final innings.
Tremlett 6 - bowled good until he hurt himself....
Anderson 8 - took more of a backseat role this time, but was still quality.

Sehwag 1 - wtf was he doing on the tour?
Gambhir 2 - hack. I thought he turned it around in SA.....
Dravid 9 - superb. I thought he was finished, but he turned around here, especially when the rest of the mugs weren't doing anything.
Tendulkar 5.5 - disappointing. At least he was better than some of the other hacks....
Laxman 4 - no comeback innings ftl.
Raina 2 - :vomit:
Yujrav 6 - actually wasn't that bad in the test he did play.
Mukund 3 - pretty crap tbh.
Dhoni 5 - OK with the bat, **** otherwise.
Bhajji 1 - you used to be good?
Mishra 2 - ditto. Extra marks for his flukish batting.
Kumar 7.5 - bowled pretty good actually.
Sharma 3 - was decent at times....
Sree 2 - dire.
Zaheer n/a - if only he was fit.....
RP Singh 0 - why recall him?
 

Uppercut

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Strauss 7- Still successfully covering up the fact that he's a bit crap at batting.
Cook 7.5- You'd probably take it if he does something similar every series
Trott 5- Decent knock first up to set up the series. Bonus points for batting in a test match stoned.
KP 9- The best bits were when he randomly decided he didn't rate bowlers and started hitting them to the boundaries in ridiculous fashion.
Bell 9- If only there was a way to stop him from getting a boundary every time he touched the ball to third man.
Morgan 3- Tail-ender batting at 6. Should probably be dropped, won't be while the team keeps winning.
Bopara 3- At Edgbaston looked like a special kid who the team had allowed to play just to be nice and because they knew they could win anyway.
Prior 8.5- But most of his millions of runs were scored with a gap between bat and pad so they don't really count.
Bresnan 9- Came into the team as an honest dobbler that could hold up an end, bounced out the entire top order instead.
Broad 10- Probably could have beaten India on his own.
Swann 6- Bowled poorly for three tests to give Indian fans hope that they may actually have something left to clutch at after the series, then took nine wickets at the Oval and lol'd.
Anderson 9- Frequently exposed batsmen for their fatal inability to play unplayable deliveries.
Tremlett 6- Bowled outside off stump, looked angry, took a few big wickets and got injured. Did everything that could reasonably have been expected of him.

Gambhir 2- The best bit was when he turned into a zombie in the process of dropping a catch.
Mukund 2- Was quite possibly let off a king pair by Bresnan at slip on the grounds that he hadn't yet been hit enough.
Sehwag 0- Brought back into the side after the second test, presumably to provide much-needed comic relief. Succeeded admirably.
Dravid 9- Gave everything he had to save something from the series, only succeeded in rubbing in how bad the rest of his team was.
Tendulkar 4- Didn't let an inability to score runs stop him from causing frequent premature ejaculations in the commentary box.
Laxman 4- Looked promising to start with, understandably threw in the towel after Jimmeh's ball to him in the second innings at Trent Bridge.
Raina 2- So bad against the short ball, it mucked up his footwork to Graeme Swann.
Yuvraj 5- Never quite nailed the concept of ducking.
Dhoni 4- Supposed personal battle with Matt Prior turned out to be a personal battle with a cricket ball determined to dodge his gloves. Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.
Harbhajan 2- Invented an injury in an effort to spare himself the embarrassment of Dhoni preferring to bowl Yuvraj and Raina instead.
Praveen 8- Bowled very effective nippers while his faster team mates got smashed, inevitably sparking calls for more faster bowlers.
Ishant 3- Rumoured to have once moved a ball off the straight. Showcased his extra pace, the major benefit of which was that it allowed the ball to travel to the boundary faster.
Sreesanth 2- Less overtly obnoxious than he used to be. Shame the same can't be said for his bowling.
RP Singh 0- Hadn't just been pretending to be crap when he didn't take any domestic wickets for three years. Much to the selectors' surprise.
Zaheer 2- "He'll be fit to bowl in the second innings. And by that we mean the second test. And by that we mean the third test. And by that we mean in four months."
Mishra 4- India's second best batsman, often brought on to bowl his part-time leg-spin by the 30th over in an effort to speed the declaration.
 
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Spark

Global Moderator
Strauss 7- Still successfully covering up the fact that he's a bit crap at batting.
Cook 7.5- You'd probably take it if he does something similar every series
Trott 5- Decent knock first up to set up the series. Bonus points for batting in a test match stoned.
KP 9- The best bits were when he randomly decided he didn't rate bowlers and started hitting them to the boundaries in ridiculous fashion.
Bell 9- If only there was a way to stop him from getting a boundary every time he touched the ball to third man.
Morgan 3- Tail-ender batting at 6. Should probably be dropped, won't be while the team keeps winning.
Bopara 3- At Edgbaston looked like a special kid who the team had allowed to play just to be nice and because they knew they could win anyway.
Prior 8.5- But most of his millions of runs were scored with a gap between bat and pad so they don't really count.
Bresnan 9- Came into the team as an honest dobbler that could hold up an end, bounced out the entire top order instead.
Broad 10- Probably could have beaten India on his own.
Swann 6- Bowled poorly for three tests to give Indian fans hope that they may actually have something left to clutch at after the series, then took nine wickets at the Oval and lol'd.
Anderson 9- Frequently exposed batsmen for their fatal inability to play unplayable deliveries.
Tremlett 6- Bowled outside off stump, looked angry, took a few big wickets and got injured. Did everything that could reasonably have been expected of him.

Gambhir 2- The best bit was when he turned into a zombie in the process of dropping a catch.
Mukund 2- Was quite possibly let off a king pair by Bresnan at slip on the grounds that he hadn't yet been hit enough.
Sehwag 0- Brought back into the side after the second test, presumably to provide much-needed comic relief. Succeeded admirably.
Dravid 9- Gave everything he had to save something from the series, only succeeded in rubbing in how bad the rest of his team was.
Tendulkar 4- Didn't let an inability to score runs stop him from causing frequent premature ejaculations in the commentary box.
Laxman 4- Looked promising to start with, understandably threw in the towel after Jimmeh's ball to him in the second innings at Trent Bridge.
Raina 2- So bad against the short ball, it mucked up his footwork to Graeme Swann.
Yuvraj 5- Never quite nailed the concept of ducking.
Dhoni 4- Supposed personal battle with Matt Prior turned out to be a personal battle with a cricket ball determined to dodge his gloves. Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.
Harbhajan 2- Invented an injury in an effort to spare himself the embarrassment of Dhoni preferring to bowl Yuvraj and Raina instead.
Praveen 8- Bowled very effective nippers while his faster team mates got smashed, inevitably sparking calls for more faster bowlers.
Ishant 3- Rumoured to have once moved a ball off the straight. Showcased his extra pace, the major benefit of which was that it allowed the ball to travel to the boundary faster.
Sreesanth 2- Less overtly obnoxious than he used to be. Shame the same can't be said for his bowling.
RP Singh 0- Hadn't just been pretending to be crap when he didn't take any domestic wickets for three years. Much to the selectors' surprise.
Zaheer 2- "He'll be fit to bowl in the second innings. And by that we mean the second test. And by that we mean the third test. And by that we mean in four months."
Mishra 4- India's second best batsman, often brought on to bowl his part-time leg-spin by the 30th over in an effort to speed the declaration.
:lol:
 

Jarquis

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Have been informed that those rankings actually had GF in tears of laughter! He says 'grats for your work Uppercut.
 

wpdavid

Hall of Fame Member
Strauss 7- Still successfully covering up the fact that he's a bit crap at batting.
Cook 7.5- You'd probably take it if he does something similar every series
Trott 5- Decent knock first up to set up the series. Bonus points for batting in a test match stoned.
KP 9- The best bits were when he randomly decided he didn't rate bowlers and started hitting them to the boundaries in ridiculous fashion.
Bell 9- If only there was a way to stop him from getting a boundary every time he touched the ball to third man.
Morgan 3- Tail-ender batting at 6. Should probably be dropped, won't be while the team keeps winning.
Bopara 3- At Edgbaston looked like a special kid who the team had allowed to play just to be nice and because they knew they could win anyway.
Prior 8.5- But most of his millions of runs were scored with a gap between bat and pad so they don't really count.
Bresnan 9- Came into the team as an honest dobbler that could hold up an end, bounced out the entire top order instead.
Broad 10- Probably could have beaten India on his own.
Swann 6- Bowled poorly for three tests to give Indian fans hope that they may actually have something left to clutch at after the series, then took nine wickets at the Oval and lol'd.
Anderson 9- Frequently exposed batsmen for their fatal inability to play unplayable deliveries.
Tremlett 6- Bowled outside off stump, looked angry, took a few big wickets and got injured. Did everything that could reasonably have been expected of him.

Gambhir 2- The best bit was when he turned into a zombie in the process of dropping a catch.
Mukund 2- Was quite possibly let off a king pair by Bresnan at slip on the grounds that he hadn't yet been hit enough.
Sehwag 0- Brought back into the side after the second test, presumably to provide much-needed comic relief. Succeeded admirably.
Dravid 9- Gave everything he had to save something from the series, only succeeded in rubbing in how bad the rest of his team was.
Tendulkar 4- Didn't let an inability to score runs stop him from causing frequent premature ejaculations in the commentary box.
Laxman 4- Looked promising to start with, understandably threw in the towel after Jimmeh's ball to him in the second innings at Trent Bridge.
Raina 2- So bad against the short ball, it mucked up his footwork to Graeme Swann.
Yuvraj 5- Never quite nailed the concept of ducking.
Dhoni 4- Supposed personal battle with Matt Prior turned out to be a personal battle with a cricket ball determined to dodge his gloves. Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.
Harbhajan 2- Invented an injury in an effort to spare himself the embarrassment of Dhoni preferring to bowl Yuvraj and Raina instead.
Praveen 8- Bowled very effective nippers while his faster team mates got smashed, inevitably sparking calls for more faster bowlers.
Ishant 3- Rumoured to have once moved a ball off the straight. Showcased his extra pace, the major benefit of which was that it allowed the ball to travel to the boundary faster.
Sreesanth 2- Less overtly obnoxious than he used to be. Shame the same can't be said for his bowling.
RP Singh 0- Hadn't just been pretending to be crap when he didn't take any domestic wickets for three years. Much to the selectors' surprise.
Zaheer 2- "He'll be fit to bowl in the second innings. And by that we mean the second test. And by that we mean the third test. And by that we mean in four months."
Mishra 4- India's second best batsman, often brought on to bowl his part-time leg-spin by the 30th over in an effort to speed the declaration.

Very good indeed
 

Spikey

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.

Will surely be MS' epitaph?
 

Jacknife

International Captain
Strauss 7- Still successfully covering up the fact that he's a bit crap at batting.
Cook 7.5- You'd probably take it if he does something similar every series
Trott 5- Decent knock first up to set up the series. Bonus points for batting in a test match stoned.
KP 9- The best bits were when he randomly decided he didn't rate bowlers and started hitting them to the boundaries in ridiculous fashion.
Bell 9- If only there was a way to stop him from getting a boundary every time he touched the ball to third man.
Morgan 3- Tail-ender batting at 6. Should probably be dropped, won't be while the team keeps winning.
Bopara 3- At Edgbaston looked like a special kid who the team had allowed to play just to be nice and because they knew they could win anyway.
Prior 8.5- But most of his millions of runs were scored with a gap between bat and pad so they don't really count.
Bresnan 9- Came into the team as an honest dobbler that could hold up an end, bounced out the entire top order instead.
Broad 10- Probably could have beaten India on his own.
Swann 6- Bowled poorly for three tests to give Indian fans hope that they may actually have something left to clutch at after the series, then took nine wickets at the Oval and lol'd.
Anderson 9- Frequently exposed batsmen for their fatal inability to play unplayable deliveries.
Tremlett 6- Bowled outside off stump, looked angry, took a few big wickets and got injured. Did everything that could reasonably have been expected of him.

Gambhir 2- The best bit was when he turned into a zombie in the process of dropping a catch.
Mukund 2- Was quite possibly let off a king pair by Bresnan at slip on the grounds that he hadn't yet been hit enough.
Sehwag 0- Brought back into the side after the second test, presumably to provide much-needed comic relief. Succeeded admirably.
Dravid 9- Gave everything he had to save something from the series, only succeeded in rubbing in how bad the rest of his team was.
Tendulkar 4- Didn't let an inability to score runs stop him from causing frequent premature ejaculations in the commentary box.
Laxman 4- Looked promising to start with, understandably threw in the towel after Jimmeh's ball to him in the second innings at Trent Bridge.
Raina 2- So bad against the short ball, it mucked up his footwork to Graeme Swann.
Yuvraj 5- Never quite nailed the concept of ducking.
Dhoni 4- Supposed personal battle with Matt Prior turned out to be a personal battle with a cricket ball determined to dodge his gloves. Had a hilarious tendency to play ridiculous shots in the middle of collapses.
Harbhajan 2- Invented an injury in an effort to spare himself the embarrassment of Dhoni preferring to bowl Yuvraj and Raina instead.
Praveen 8- Bowled very effective nippers while his faster team mates got smashed, inevitably sparking calls for more faster bowlers.
Ishant 3- Rumoured to have once moved a ball off the straight. Showcased his extra pace, the major benefit of which was that it allowed the ball to travel to the boundary faster.
Sreesanth 2- Less overtly obnoxious than he used to be. Shame the same can't be said for his bowling.
RP Singh 0- Hadn't just been pretending to be crap when he didn't take any domestic wickets for three years. Much to the selectors' surprise.
Zaheer 2- "He'll be fit to bowl in the second innings. And by that we mean the second test. And by that we mean the third test. And by that we mean in four months."
Mishra 4- India's second best batsman, often brought on to bowl his part-time leg-spin by the 30th over in an effort to speed the declaration.
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Agree with all that except Swann didn't bowl badly in 3 tests, at Lords he bowled very nicely, even though the surface offered him nothing, bowled 41 overs for 114 runs at 2.7 rpo at picked up a couple of wickets. Couldn't have done much more for me in that first test. Unless I'm taking this a little bit too literally.
I particularly like the Anderson and the Bresnan ones.
 
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