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Cricket Web Forumer World Cup - Information and Discussion
- Thread starter Prince EWS
- Start date
HeathDavisSpeed
Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Cribb would never post a schedule that he wouldn't keep to. I have this on good authority from the man himself.
Cevno
Hall of Fame Member
Furball
Evil Scotsman
Howe_zat
Audio File
NostraFurball
Ausage
Cricketer Of The Year
My final answer. 5 & 6 clearly troll answers though
NasserFan207
International Vice-Captain
Lol, I didn't even realise this thread existed.
Some of the news reports here are class.
Some of the news reports here are class.
Flyonthewall
U19 Captain
England vs India (50 overs match), Sunday Feb 27th 2011 CE
Pitch Conditions: Distinctly dubious, to say the least. The pitch created by the honourable curator of the Bengaluru Cricket Ground, Sirmallaya, appears to have been presented large cracks dispersed unevenly through the pitch, including an especially large gaping crack just outside the off stump at one end, which would appear to present lavish spin that Malcolm Tucker himself would be proud of for off-break bowlers Deane and Crowther. The toss, is, as such, extremely crucial.
Toss: England captain Jake Howe calls "Head", Biased Indian tosses the coin and tries to use his bias to will the coin to land on the Tail...but, alas, his attempt fails and England have won the toss. Howe elects to put the opposition in to bat after momentary thought, explaining that "well, it was bloody obvious, really, Nasser", when questioned about his move.
So, now, here come the Indian openers vcs and Kingkallis. They come highly regarded, but will have an immense job to undertake this morning on the dried-out pitch, one feels.
In a staggering flouting of the conventions of simulated encounters, Howe has elected to juggle his pre-set bowling order and launch an all-out spin attack on India. With four spinners of varying style and quality in the side, this would seem like an intelligent move, but perhaps if Deane's big-ripping off-breaks and Kweek's steadier left-arm orthodox can be seen off with a modicum of success, then they can seize upon the erratic chinamen of Crowther and Corrin's Hobson's-choice leg-spin assortment, and build a match-winning total.
Well, we're ready to start. It'll be Deane to open up to VCS. The excitement in the crowd builds to a point where 26 spectators have to leave the ground due to ruptured eardrums caused by the noise; and here we go, finally...
Over 0.1, Deane to VCS, OUT! Well a quite extraordinary start here at Bengaluru as Deane has extracted the middle and off stumps of the befuddled opener! It seemed like an innocuous enough delivery, tossed up outside the off stump at 47.8 mph, but wow when it hit that crack, an extraordinary transformation occurred as the ball suddenly spat off the surface and rocketed past his textbook forward defensive push and demolished the stumps. Even now, VCS bears the look of a man who has just seen Beelzebub tap-dancing on the walls of his bathroom. Astonishing start, I suspect the BCCI will make a strong complaint to the authorities on this evidence!
VCS b Deane 0 (1b 0x4 0x6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.1-0-0-1 (ER 0.00 SR 1)
BlahBlahBlah replces the outgoing batsman. Let's hope he can live up to his talk.
Over 0.2, Deane to BlahBlahBlah, OUT! Another ones bites the sawdust! BlahBlahBlah clearly decided on an attacking gameplan to counter the vicious spin, however this proves to be equally ineffective as his wild yahoo down the pitch results in nothing but a hefty slab of fresh air and Pickup behind the stumps completes the simplest of stumpings.
BlahBlahBlah st Pickup b Deane 0 (1b 0X4 0X6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.2-0-0-2 (ER 0.00 SR 1)
EDIT; a delay here for a while as a quite extraordinary incident has happened. It appears that Pickup, in his desire to complete the stumping, rather forcefully knocked the off stump out of it's wobbly pin and straight into the crack! All quite remarkable, as Richie would say. Anyway, there shall be a 5-minute delay here as HonestBharani canters out to the wicket in a bid to prevent the hat-trick.
We're all set to resume now. Deane on the hat-trick , six men around the bat, in the first over! You wouldn't simply credit it if it wasn't happening right front of you.
Over 0.3, Deane to HonestBharani, no run; after the chaos and calamity of those opening deliveries, a rather humdrum hat-trick ball here as HB utilises the human element effectively to present a perfect block to Deane's teasing offering.
Over 0.4, Deane to HonestBharani, no run; This game's gone rather dull all of a side here, four balls in. Deane again tosses up devilishly, HB presents the full face again for another no-score.
Over 0.5, Deane to HonestBharani, OUT! Catastrophe strikes again for the Indians! What HonestBharani was thinking here, well a crack team of psychiatrists wouldn't crack it frankly. Appalling cricket all round as Deane offers HB a short, wide piece of filth at 40.2 mph that even a Torpoint Under-12 third-grader would put away with ease, but Bharani decides to complicate the issue by attempting an absurdly extravagant cut shot and under-edging the resulting hack onto his stumps. Faintly embarassing all round, and indeed Deane is nearly reduced to tears of laughter at the futility of it all.
HonestBharani b Deane 0 (3b 0X4 0X6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.5-0-0-3 (ER 0.00 SR 1.66)
Well, despite his regular derision of the game's numbers, with an average and strike rate both standing at 0 after his first game for India, Bharani's stats certainly look unimpressive! Right, here comes renowned shining star/fifth-rate film franchise GI Joe to repair the wreckage.
Over 0.6, Deane to GI Joe, FOUR; an appropriately spectacular conclusion to the spectacular first over here,as GI Joe, clearly not suffering fools gladly, launches an almighty Neanderthal heave at his first delivery, an attempted quicker ball from Deane at 63.7 mph, and his full-blooded swing results in a curious shot that flies over the slips and dribbles along the turf for a streaky opening boundary. GI Joe's bat also appears to have reappeared in two pieces after the hit as well, so even when it's going right it's going wrong for the poor wretched Indians.
Over 1: India 4/3 (ER 4.00; Kingkallis 0* (0b) GI Joe 4* (1b; 1x4, SR 400.00)
MJ Deane 1-0-4-3 (ER 4.00, SR 2.00)
Well, an eventful first over all told. Join us for more later, when the Forum World Cup might have possibly have got underway for real.
Pitch Conditions: Distinctly dubious, to say the least. The pitch created by the honourable curator of the Bengaluru Cricket Ground, Sirmallaya, appears to have been presented large cracks dispersed unevenly through the pitch, including an especially large gaping crack just outside the off stump at one end, which would appear to present lavish spin that Malcolm Tucker himself would be proud of for off-break bowlers Deane and Crowther. The toss, is, as such, extremely crucial.
Toss: England captain Jake Howe calls "Head", Biased Indian tosses the coin and tries to use his bias to will the coin to land on the Tail...but, alas, his attempt fails and England have won the toss. Howe elects to put the opposition in to bat after momentary thought, explaining that "well, it was bloody obvious, really, Nasser", when questioned about his move.
So, now, here come the Indian openers vcs and Kingkallis. They come highly regarded, but will have an immense job to undertake this morning on the dried-out pitch, one feels.
In a staggering flouting of the conventions of simulated encounters, Howe has elected to juggle his pre-set bowling order and launch an all-out spin attack on India. With four spinners of varying style and quality in the side, this would seem like an intelligent move, but perhaps if Deane's big-ripping off-breaks and Kweek's steadier left-arm orthodox can be seen off with a modicum of success, then they can seize upon the erratic chinamen of Crowther and Corrin's Hobson's-choice leg-spin assortment, and build a match-winning total.
Well, we're ready to start. It'll be Deane to open up to VCS. The excitement in the crowd builds to a point where 26 spectators have to leave the ground due to ruptured eardrums caused by the noise; and here we go, finally...
Over 0.1, Deane to VCS, OUT! Well a quite extraordinary start here at Bengaluru as Deane has extracted the middle and off stumps of the befuddled opener! It seemed like an innocuous enough delivery, tossed up outside the off stump at 47.8 mph, but wow when it hit that crack, an extraordinary transformation occurred as the ball suddenly spat off the surface and rocketed past his textbook forward defensive push and demolished the stumps. Even now, VCS bears the look of a man who has just seen Beelzebub tap-dancing on the walls of his bathroom. Astonishing start, I suspect the BCCI will make a strong complaint to the authorities on this evidence!
VCS b Deane 0 (1b 0x4 0x6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.1-0-0-1 (ER 0.00 SR 1)
BlahBlahBlah replces the outgoing batsman. Let's hope he can live up to his talk.
Over 0.2, Deane to BlahBlahBlah, OUT! Another ones bites the sawdust! BlahBlahBlah clearly decided on an attacking gameplan to counter the vicious spin, however this proves to be equally ineffective as his wild yahoo down the pitch results in nothing but a hefty slab of fresh air and Pickup behind the stumps completes the simplest of stumpings.
BlahBlahBlah st Pickup b Deane 0 (1b 0X4 0X6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.2-0-0-2 (ER 0.00 SR 1)
EDIT; a delay here for a while as a quite extraordinary incident has happened. It appears that Pickup, in his desire to complete the stumping, rather forcefully knocked the off stump out of it's wobbly pin and straight into the crack! All quite remarkable, as Richie would say. Anyway, there shall be a 5-minute delay here as HonestBharani canters out to the wicket in a bid to prevent the hat-trick.
We're all set to resume now. Deane on the hat-trick , six men around the bat, in the first over! You wouldn't simply credit it if it wasn't happening right front of you.
Over 0.3, Deane to HonestBharani, no run; after the chaos and calamity of those opening deliveries, a rather humdrum hat-trick ball here as HB utilises the human element effectively to present a perfect block to Deane's teasing offering.
Over 0.4, Deane to HonestBharani, no run; This game's gone rather dull all of a side here, four balls in. Deane again tosses up devilishly, HB presents the full face again for another no-score.
Over 0.5, Deane to HonestBharani, OUT! Catastrophe strikes again for the Indians! What HonestBharani was thinking here, well a crack team of psychiatrists wouldn't crack it frankly. Appalling cricket all round as Deane offers HB a short, wide piece of filth at 40.2 mph that even a Torpoint Under-12 third-grader would put away with ease, but Bharani decides to complicate the issue by attempting an absurdly extravagant cut shot and under-edging the resulting hack onto his stumps. Faintly embarassing all round, and indeed Deane is nearly reduced to tears of laughter at the futility of it all.
HonestBharani b Deane 0 (3b 0X4 0X6 SR 0.00)
MJ Deane 0.5-0-0-3 (ER 0.00 SR 1.66)
Well, despite his regular derision of the game's numbers, with an average and strike rate both standing at 0 after his first game for India, Bharani's stats certainly look unimpressive! Right, here comes renowned shining star/fifth-rate film franchise GI Joe to repair the wreckage.
Over 0.6, Deane to GI Joe, FOUR; an appropriately spectacular conclusion to the spectacular first over here,as GI Joe, clearly not suffering fools gladly, launches an almighty Neanderthal heave at his first delivery, an attempted quicker ball from Deane at 63.7 mph, and his full-blooded swing results in a curious shot that flies over the slips and dribbles along the turf for a streaky opening boundary. GI Joe's bat also appears to have reappeared in two pieces after the hit as well, so even when it's going right it's going wrong for the poor wretched Indians.
Over 1: India 4/3 (ER 4.00; Kingkallis 0* (0b) GI Joe 4* (1b; 1x4, SR 400.00)
MJ Deane 1-0-4-3 (ER 4.00, SR 2.00)
Well, an eventful first over all told. Join us for more later, when the Forum World Cup might have possibly have got underway for real.
Last edited:
Hurricane
Hall of Fame Member
I had a dream the other day that one day men will be judged not by colour of their skin but by the content of their character.