English all-rounder seizes upon Bangladeshi indiscretions...and much else besides
After the news of Bangladeshi bowling "prodigy" H.B.K. Teja's home-wrecking antics flitered through the English dressing-room, insectoid English all-rounder Mr. F.O.T. Wall reacted with scorn in his press conference this afternoon. "Baaa, you'd never get anything that sordid emanating from our team camp!" the chinaman bowler proclaimed pompously, probably emitting a derisive snort or seven in between his statement. "Although I personally I think it's karma for the silly **** saying that
Sticky Fingers was better than
Exile On Main Street."
In a wide-ranging conference that lasted at least 30 minutes, Wall carried on (and on and on...) to announce that he would hit the first ball he received from much-fancied Indian demon pace bowler Turbinator "for six, fourteen rows back over mid-wicket" and later, in a bizarre tangent, to decry the 1969 moon landings as "just a load of capitalist hocum, really". Whether all of this will help the notoriously unpredictable Gloucestershire and Sussex star to get his chops up for Sunday's encounter with the much hyped Indians is another matter.
So far both Teja and F.O.T. Wall's captain Jake Howe, who is recorded in this very publication as having referred to him as "a bit of a prawn, really" in the past, have been unavailable for comment. Some have even suggested that the interview was in fact a cunning hoax (
) intended to garner Wall some press attention and that in fact all of the juicy quotes were the figments of an imagination of a bored 14-year-old living in Great Yarmouth.
The plot thickens, either way...