Cricket Web Forumer World Cup - Information and Discussion

[MW1304]

New England Fast Bowler slams fake newspaper articles

Debutant England Fast Bowler MW1304 has openly attacked humorous and whimsical fake newspaper articles, branding them "unfunny" and "getting a bit old".

"I know people are gonna say I sound like an old man, but aren't these fake newspaper articles getting a bit past it?" complained the England quick. "I mean they've been done over and over again in the same style quite a few times now, but HEY what do I know?"

It is thought that the England management and fellow members of the Cricket Web Players' Association are unhappy with MW1304's comments but are yet to respond in their own whimsical fake article.

On to the topic of England's opening fixture against India, the young, well-endowed, muscularly built bowling-allrounder added "we'll hammer the ****s" for good measure.

 

[Howe_zat]

England Captain attempts to discourage meta-humour - News Times

Prior to England's World Cup opening fixture against India, there is talk of some disparity in the ranks over the use of meta-humour during the tournament.

New captain, 20-year old seam bowler Howe_zat, has given a severe warning to opening partner MW1304 after the young quick's recent sarcastic post.

"Obviously, these things have to be done in the context of what's appropriate" commented the freakishly-proportioned Howe, in a manner belying his youthful exhuberance. "These fake newspaper articles were funny for a while, but they're reaching the point where they neither take the piss out of themselves nor the above post. Or do both. It's getting a bit confusing for the older members".

The use of smirking hypocritical humour has recently landed several high-profile players in trouble, and the message from the England camps has been clear: not to use it unless it is absolutely necessary.

 

[Nate]

Himannv MOTM.

 

[Himannv]

I am?

 

[honestbharani]

HB's twitter feed:


If you got time, practice ****s.. Don't juz muck around moonlighting as mediocre journalists..

 

[Howe_zat]

...Don't juz muck around moonlighting as mediocre journalists..

Basically all I do here. Alas, exposed.

 

[Ausage]

Why are people so critical of the media? They're only giving the people what they want to read.

Also GIMH

 

[honestbharani]

Why are people so critical of the media? They're only giving the people what they want to read.

Also GIMH

HB on twitter:


Media should report facts, not fanciful fabrications just because that is what the people want. If you want that, read KP's twitter.

 

[Spark]

So what time is this **** gonna get rolling?

 

[Shri]

Bangladesh filler players:

Trigger_Tiger
cricman

What are their preferences and stuff?

 

[Prince EWS]

Bangladesh filler players:



What are their preferences and stuff?

Trigger_Tiger
70 batting, moderate middle order
30 bowling, moderate medium pace

cricman
40 batting, moderate lower order
60 bowling, moderate off spin

 

[Shri]

Cheers.

 

[Howe_zat]

I asked Challis to come and sign up, as he's one of few active Bangladesh fans here.

 

[Prince EWS]

I asked Challis to come and sign up, as he's one of few active Bangladesh fans here.

Yeah I'll be more than happy to include him if he does.

It'd be nice if Irish_Opener signed up; he made a post just now. I'm using him as a filler anyway but still.

 

[Shri]

Wtf does smalishah84 bowl? Has a messed up registration form. Will drop him a VM. If PEWS can clarify sooner, it would be cool.

 

[Prince EWS]

Wtf does smalishah84 bowl? Has a messed up registration form. Will drop him a VM. If PEWS can clarify sooner, it would be cool.

Haha yeah I noticed that; I have him down as fast.

Himannv		100	0	Top	Keeper	Aggressive	Moderate
weldone		100	0	Top	Medium	Aggressive	Moderate
NUFAN		99	1	Top	Medium	Aggressive	Very Defensive
Teja		100	0	Top	Keeper	Aggressive	Defensive
weeman27bob	95	5	Top	Wrist	Aggressive	Very Defensive
smalishah84	50	50	Middle	Fast	Defensive	Aggressive
Trigger_Tiger	70	30	Middle	Medium	Moderate	Moderate
cricman		40	60	Lower	Finger	Moderate	Moderate
*****		27	73	Lower	Finger	Moderate	Moderate
Shri		10	90	Lower	Fast	Very Aggressive	Moderate
centurymaker	0	100	Lower	Fast	Very Aggressive	Very Aggressive

 

[Furball]

Any chance you can post up Ireland's squad and preferences?

 

[Howe_zat]

Don't do it, PEWS.

If I had to read through the sign ups thread, then every captain should.

 

[Spark]

Haha AWTA.

 

[Chewie]

Any chance you can post up Ireland's squad and preferences?

Registration form

Username: Prince EWS

Batting Points: 40
Bowling Points: 60

Batting Handedness/Position: Right Handed Opening Batsman
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right Arm Finger Spin Bowler
Batting Aggression: Defensive
Bowling Aggression: Aggressive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): No

Bowling Movement: In-movement
Prefers Facing: In-movement

Preferred Nation: Australia
Others willing to play for: England, Ireland, Zimbabwe

Username: Huntcore

Batting Points: 10
Bowling Points: 90

Batting Handedness/Position: Left/Tail
Bowling Handedness/Style: Left/Finger
Batting Aggression: Defensive
Bowling Aggression: Moderate
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): N


Bowling Movement: In
Prefers Facing : Out


Preferred Nation: Ireland
Others willing to play for: Australia

Registration form

Username: Uppercut

Batting Points: 100
Bowling Points: 0

Batting Handedness/Position: Right-handed, middle order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right-arm medium
Batting Aggression: Very aggressive
Bowling Aggression: Very defensive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): N

Bowling Movement: In-movement
Prefers Facing: In-movement

Preferred Nation: Ireland

Username turnstyle

Batting Points: 30
Bowling Points: 70
Total points must equal 100; they will be adjusted mathmatically depending on your activity and role.

Batting Handedness/Position: Left - Lower order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right - Fast Meds
Batting Aggression: - Aggressive but pretty ****
Bowling Aggression: - Defensive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): N
Top order, middle order and lower order are the batting options.
Fast, fast-medium, medium-fast, medium, finger spin and wrist spin are the bowling options.

Bowling Movement: Out Movement
Prefers Facing: In Movement
In-movement or out-movement are the options. Assume the opponent is of the same handedness as you.

Preferred Nation: Ireland

Username: Samuel_Vimes

Batting Points: 100
Bowling Points: 0
Total points must equal 100; they will be adjusted mathmatically depending on your activity and role.

Batting Handedness/Position: RHB top order
Bowling Handedness/Style: RAES (excruciatingly slow)
Batting Aggression: Defensive
Bowling Aggression: Very defensive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): Y

Bowling Movement:
Prefers Facing (in-movement or out-movement, as a batsman): in-movement

Preferred Nation: Netherlands
Others willing to play for: England, Ireland

Username: GingerFurball

Batting Points: 25
Bowling Points: 75

Batting Handedness/Position: RHB/Lower Order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Left Arm finger spin
Batting Aggression: Very Aggressive
Bowling Aggression: Aggressive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): N

Bowling Movement: In
Prefers Facing Out

Preferred Nation: England
Others willing to play for: Ireland, Netherlands

Registration form

Username: cpr

Batting Points: 100
Bowling Points: 0


Batting Handedness/Position: RHB, Top order (pref no 3/4)
Bowling Handedness/Style: Finger Spin (SLA)
Batting Aggression: moderate (rather not throw the wicket away, but can hit the 4s when down to the tail)
Bowling Aggression: Very Defensive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): Yes (though will ceed to Pickup if playing for England)



Bowling Movement: In-movement
Prefers Facing (in-movement or out-movement, as a batsman): In-movement


Preferred Nation: England
Others willing to play for: Ireland, Holland
Select one preferred nation. Select any number of others in order of preference

Username: Salman85

Batting Points:100
Bowling Points: 0

Batting Handedness/Position: Right Handed / Top Order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right Handed / Wrist Spin
Batting Aggression: Aggressive
Bowling Aggression: Defensive
Is Wicket Keeper : N
.
Bowling Movement: In-Movement
Prefers Facing: Out-Movement


Preferred Nation: Pakistan
Others willing to play for: Ireland

Username: Chewie

Batting Points: 60
Bowling Points: 40
Total points must equal 100; they will be adjusted mathmatically depending on your activity and role.

Batting Handedness/Position: RHB, middle order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right arm finger spin
Batting Aggression: Very aggressive
Bowling Aggression: defensive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): n

Bowling Movement: Straight on
Prefers Facing (in-movement or out-movement, as a batsman):in-movement

Preferred Nation: Ireland

Username: Irish_Opener (nasser version)

Batting Points: 0
Bowling Points: 100
Total points must equal 100; they will be adjusted mathmatically depending on your activity and role.

Batting Handedness/Position: RHB, lower order
Bowling Handedness/Style: Right arm fast
Batting Aggression: Very aggressive
Bowling Aggression: Very aggressive
Is Wicket Keeper? (Y/N): n

Bowling Movement: Away movement
Prefers Facing (in-movement or out-movement, as a batsman):in-movement

Preferred Nation: Ireland

plus 1 filler