The Life and Times of a Woman Who Got Dragged to the Football by Some Bloke Who's Probably Rooting Her
So I went to my first game of footy tonight - it was awesome! I can safely say since about the second quarter I am now a passionate Geelong fan. Everyone was cheering so loudly I just couldn't help but get in on the act. I didn't really know any of the players' names but I thought if I just yelled out stuff really loudly then nobody would notice that I'm a bit of a novice at this. Oh boy, you should have heard me shrieking! I was pulling out all the stops:
'Get it!'
'Kick it!'
'What are you doing?'
Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss!!!
'You suck Saints!'
It's hard work, this cheering caper - sometimes I'd be all like 'Yeah! Haha,' and St. Kilda would kick a goal, or I'd be swearing into my drink because I didn't realise that it was our free kick (these were few and far between I might add, how stupid are the umpires! Do they even know the rules?)
But by the third quarter I was in full swing. I'd even graduated to telling the Saints that 'This is how it's done!' when we did something good, though I'm still not 100% sure what that was, and it was only after someone told me to look at the scoreboard that I realised we were 17 points down.
And after 1.5 white wines I really came into my own. I just felt that with my experience of the game now, coupled with the fact that Geelong were losing, I was as qualified as anyone else to make critical comments about what they were doing wrong. For example, I saw that #10 from the Saints was all on his own in the midfield, what's going on there!? So I yelled at my boyfriend, 'What's Ten doing all on his own? We need to man up! Somebody get on him!' He told me that Ten was a tagger, which sounds pretty important if they have a name for it, so he really should have been manned up. He wasn't as good as number 29 from Geelong though, he was very good. I think someone should give him an award for being so good.
If any of my girlfriends ever go to the footy I feel like I could give them some tips on cheering. The most important one is that if you haven't got your own style yet, then you can pretty much just borrow one from the bedroom, e.g. 'Yessss!!!! Yeah!!! Oh, ooooo yeah! Come on!' or just sit there and let the man do all the work. Hey, there's a reason they're both called 'rooting', right? Right? Come to think of it though, the quiet option is probably better, because my BF had a boner for half the night. He's such an embarrassment, lol, I can't even go outdoors with him half the time.
Man I had so much fun tonight, I really wanted to be able to go again but it sounds like that won't happen. I asked my man when Geelong were playing next and he told me that was their last game for the year, and possibly forever. Lol wtf?! Oh well, footy's kind of lame anyway, I only came because I thought we were going to win.
(Editor's note: I'd have preferred a symphony of Scotsmen jam a thousand vuvuzelas up my arse and play than have ever listened to this banshee. FMD.)