Hayden's short-sighted view
Matthew Hayden's opinions of India are half-cooked redneck tosh, this nation remains, as ever, the 'Land of contradictions'
November 14: Matthew Hayden has wasted no time on his return to Australia in dismissing India as a ''third world country'' - a slight that has not gone unnoticed here. There is no official definition of what exactly constitutes a third-world country but as yet no official study has yet to suggest, unlike Hayden, that it is defined by the number of people moving around behind the sightscreen.
For a supposed third-world country, India can assemble a veritable army of TV stations, radio frequencies, newspapers and websites to defend its reputation as a thrusting economic power. True, if half of those working in the media were building new homes then India would probably be a better place, but then you could also say the same about England.
In the doubtless forlorn hope that India's more nationalistic bloggers are even now venting their spleen on newly-discovered Queensland websites, it might be time to break out, under the cover of Hayden's General Schwarzkopf-style full-frontal attack, and file an addition to the diary. Maybe I can even dare to mention the fact that hotel reception woke me up with a happy ''good morning, sir'' at 6am this morning. But maybe not.
You have to hand it to Matty Hayden, he certainly has an old-fashioned way of looking at things. He lives under the impression that the minute he gets back to Queensland the world stops listening, he can reel off a few redneck opinions and go fishing. But these days the world is so small that no sanctuary remains. Not even Brisbane. (If even one Australian rails about this last line then it will just help to prove my point).
India, of course, is not ''a third-world country''. India, as we have all been taught, is a ''land of contradictions.'' It is a land that can pay Hayden US$375,000 to play for Chennai Super Kings in the Indian Premier League then irritate him when it takes half-an-hour to move a sightscreen. ''Land of contradictions'' is such a cliché that a Google search brings up 268,000 results, and here is the latest addition.
I wandered down Rajkot's main shopping street yesterday to buy a camera (so the next time that a Mumbai taxi driver messes up and I mention it in my blog to supposed comic effect I can provide photographic evidence).
The camera was just the job, the service charming, and the payment was pure theatre. In England, if the credit-card terminal didn't work you would be ushered from the shop as a potential fraudster. In Rajkot, ladders were brought, cupboards searched and we soon had three terminals piled high in the hope that one of them would work. The card was swiped 100 times with a wide variety of spin-bowling actions without success. When the shopkeeper tried the doosra it was probably the first time a terminal has ever come back with the response ''rejected due to illegal action.''
It all took so long that I never got the chance to visit Kaba Gandhi's Gate, Gandhi's one-time ancestral home, which now houses a memorial museum. I note with envy that Mr Mann of the BBC did get there, but then he has always been a master of time management and anyway he didn't have to buy a camera.
Rajkot, in English eyes, was once the least salubrious of all India's cricket venues. Vic Marks reminded Observer readers at the weekend of how washing facilities in the England hotel 24 years ago consisted of ''a big plastic bucket and a small plastic bucket.'' Now my hotel has a power shower, Mexican food and a plasma TV screen.
On that very plasma TV screen, I watched Lahore Badshaws beat Hyderabad Heroes in the first of three finals in the Indian Cricket League - that is the unofficial one for those of you still confused by such things.
Some things never change. Inzy grumbled to the umpires about a ball change to the point of insubordination and Tony Greig continually referred to Lahore as ''Pakistan'' with an ill-concealed sense of distaste at their behaviour. The standard was slightly iffy, a crowd of 50,000 in Ahmedabad was frenzied and it was all hugely entertaining. This was a bit of a surprise as I had blithely accepted Lalit Modi's word that it was all a bit of a flop.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2008/nov/14/englandinindia200809-englandcricketseries