20/20 Media (brought to you by BetFare)

[Goughy]

Stuff Buff

Under the headline "Stuff Buff" the West Robham Weekly lashed out against comments from the 'wrong' side of town.

In his editorial, Freyzer Bentoz wrote
"It maybe true that, as a collective group, they have better abs than us. However, who would want the prison bodies they have? Buff at the top and chicken legs at the bottom. Our physiques are honed from a lifetime of free living and affluence, not from 500 sit-ups a day with Bubba watching from the top bunk."

he continued
"The cheek of these East Robbers to steal and beg from us and then say their prison time has given them an advantage. If they are not careful, and don’t start respecting their betters, then rather than sending them to prison, where they can bench press and work out, they will be sent to Morkambe for Math(s) camp."

The first email received in response was from Jack James who wrote "They maybe a town of petty criminals and cowards but, for the love of mercy, we can’t sent them to Morkambe"

Breaking News- In a late edition of the newspaper, the West Robham Weekly announced it didnt mean to cause tension between the two sides of Robham. In order to try and build good relations it pledged to donate $10 000 to each of the 3 methadone clinics and the East Robham Adult Literacy Program. The expressed aim was to help the 60% of East Robham residents either addicted to heroin or unable to read.

 

[superkingdave]

East Robham is the worst area in the world to live, according to a new survey.
The Webian district was ranked below Baghdad and Bangui in the Central African Republic.

The CWBC's Igor Clubshub in East Robham says that about half of the district's houses are still in ruins because of extreme poorness.

He says that you never know when there will be electricity and some areas of the district only have water for two hours a day.

"Nevertheless, I would never have guessed it's the world's worst place to live," he told CWBC News Online.

CW's capital city, Nixonstown, came in fourth-bottom of the survey commissioned for Chooey Human Resources Consulting.


CW districts took up 17 of the bottom 20 places, though the district of West Robham came top.

"It will take time for many of those CW districts to recover from such prolonged periods of political and economic turmoil and to re-establish stable, law-enforcing democracies," said Slagin Parakatil, a senior researcher at Choeey.

WORLD'S WORST DISTRICTS
East Robham: 215/215
Pickford: 214
Baghdad: 213
Nixonstown: 212
Twybridge: 211
Ouagadougou: 210

In June 2002, fighting in East Robham claimed some 200 lives.

Most recent clashes have been in the Sewer region, which is just 5km from central East Robham


For many years, Igor Clubshub worked in Morkambe which came in at 202 of the 215 districts surveyed.

"The mobile phone network is much better in East Robham, it needs to be, 75% of income is derived from drugs and prostitution" he said.

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

In light of the recently publicized Robbham divide, the Robbham Sunny Herald caught up with CW XI superstar Liam Camps Jr. after a typically epic gym session in downtown East Robbham. He was direct to the point saying, "West Robbham hates poor people!" The reporter then put to him that 'hate' is a very strong word, to which he responded, "So are my biceps." He refused to elaborate.

 

[superkingdave]

Camps Jr on the Roids imo

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Black players better watch who they call p00r.

 

[dinu23]

Under the headline "Stuff Buff" the West Robham Weekly lashed out against comments from the 'wrong' side of town.

In his editorial, Freyzer Bentoz wrote
"It maybe true that, as a collective group, they have better abs than us. However, who would want the prison bodies they have? Buff at the top and chicken legs at the bottom. Our physiques are honed from a lifetime of free living and affluence, not from 500 sit-ups a day with Bubba watching from the top bunk."

he continued
"The cheek of these East Robbers to steal and beg from us and then say their prison time has given them an advantage. If they are not careful, and don’t start respecting their betters, then rather than sending them to prison, where they can bench press and work out, they will be sent to Morkambe for Math(s) camp."

The first email received in response was from Jack James who wrote "They maybe a town of petty criminals and cowards but, for the love of mercy, we can’t sent them to Morkambe"

Breaking News- In a late edition of the newspaper, the West Robham Weekly announced it didnt mean to cause tension between the two sides of Robham. In order to try and build good relations it pledged to donate $10 000 to each of the 3 methadone clinics and the East Robham Adult Literacy Program. The expressed aim was to help the 60% of East Robham residents either addicted to heroin or unable to read.

well said!!

 

[Johnners]

Daily Diamond
Both East & West Rob(b)ham are ****
Davistow Captain weighs in on Rob(b)ham debacle
By Bruce

Davistow Dazzlers captain Kingsley Clapham has today added more fuel to the fire in the debate between East & West Rob(b)ham by declaring that both towns were, quite frankly, "****holes". "It seems that both citizens and players of East & West Rob(b)ham are so focused on arguing over which side of Rob(b)ham is "better", to actually realise, they both suck" Clapham added in his press conference at the Dazzlers clubhouse.

The Rob(b)ham debacle has caused such a stir across the whole of CW Land, that the real reason the press conference was called by Clapham, was lost in the tirade of questions regarding his thoughts Rob(b)ham. When Clapham finally got through the barrage, he was able to announce that car manufacturing giants Ford, in tandem with IKEA , would be the Dazzlers major sponsors for the inaugural CW T20 competition. It is believed that the sponsorship deals will bring each member of the Dazzlers their own personalized car, as well as a waterfront house decked out with the latest IKEA products in order to help the players settle in to Davistow during their time at the Dazzlers.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Robbham Butchers Quarterly

"....Davistow?"
By Gringo El Spatcho

Where the **** is it?

 

[Johnners]

Daily Diamond
No further evidence required
By Bruce

In light of recent comments from certain Rob(b)ham journalists regarding the whereabouts of Davistow, Davistow residents have backed Dazzlers captain Kingsley Clapham by pointing out that the ignorance displayed is proof that Rob(b)ham as a whole, is nothing but a breeding ground for the dregs of CW society.

 

[Magrat Garlick]

For once, I agree with el Spatcho.

Would also like to point out that IKEA sucks like an Electrolux.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Robbham Bricklayers Newsletter

ERUB: "We looked it up."
By Gringo El Spatcho

In a shocking new twist that is sure to keep the whole of CWLand on the edge of their seats, it turns out that Davistow does actually exist.

"Yeah, I'll be honest with you, we looked it up." admitted ERUB captain Nath Patrick, rather sheepishly. "Turns out it's a city somewhere over there." he said, pointing aimlessly.

"Dazzlers, though." he continued. "That's a shocking name. Distinct lack of abs, for mine."

When the controversial (and intoxicated) ERUB trio of Dan Smith, Darren Murphy and Chris Dwyer were questioned on this latest controversy, they had plenty to contribute. Sadly, not much of it made sense.

[B]Recently, Davistow Dazzlers captain Kingsley Clapham gave your town a spray. Do you have anything to say regarding this?[/B]
[B]Dwyer:[/B] More like Crapham, amirite?
[B]Murphy:[/B] urite.
[B]Smith[/B]: Dazzlers?

[B]How amusing, you likened his name to faeces.[/B]
[B]Dwyer:[/B] *snore*
[B]Murphy:[/B] urite
[B]Smith:[/B] dude, where's your bathroom?

[B]I don't live here. In fact, this is the back of your transit van.[/B]
[B]Smith:[/B] Dazzlers?
[B]Murphy:[/B] urite
[B]Dwyer:[/B] *snore*

Once again, Gringo asks the tough questions. Yours in buff.

 

[steds]

Do these waterfront houses come in flatpacks?

 

[Nate]

Horse & Hound
"When we win, it won't be a surprise"
by Abhinav Shankar

These were the words spoken by East Robham International and Snooker champion Darren Murphy. He then said "Someone make an article out of this".

So yeah, East Robham will probably win the whole thing. They're decent at cricket. And active. And most importantly, have the physique of elite athletes/binge drinkers.

I asked Upper Body big unit Daniel Smith about his thoughts on how his similiar appearance to Kyle would affect his 20/20 performance.

[B]Smitteh says:[/B] i don't want to comment on the game this close

ITSTL.

As far as this reporter is concerned, Upper Body should be given the trophy/shield/moneh as soon as possible.

And what's with all the ghey fighting on 'My citeh is better than yours f00l'? West Robham is more sceptic tank than city. And rumour has it you need to click your heels together three times and say "For some dire reason, I wish to be in Davistow and not East Robham" to get there. Which is just stupid. What if you own a car? How do you get it there? Ghey.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Ronaldinho linked to ERUB
By Gringo El Spatcho

Brazilian attacking midfielder Ronaldinho has been linked with an off-season transfer to the cashed up CWLand 20/20 franchise. Ronaldinho, who has been out of the game for the majority of the 2007/08 season, is believed to be on the outer at Barcelona and is looking for a new club and a change of fortunes.

"We'd definitely love to have him here, he'd be a wonderful addition to the squad." ERUB captain Nath Patrick said today.

Whilst Chelsea and Manchester City are among the favourites to acquire his signature, Ronaldinho hasn't ruled out a shock move to ERUB, as long as Barcelona accept an offer from the club.

"I've been linked to every other ****ing sporting club in the world, may as well have a yarn with these ****s as well." he was quoted as saying this morning on Brazilian television.

 

[Bobisback]

"I've been linked to every other ****ing sporting club in the world, may as well have a yarn with these ****s as well." he was quoted as saying this morning on Brazilian television.

Classic Ronaldinho.

 

[NZTailender]

Robert Walls, Tony Greig and Justin Rodgie throw support behind WRRW

The West Robham Rabid Wolves have today been boosted by the endorsement of some big names and sharp minds ahead of the inaugural CW T20 competition.

Phil Gould also threw his weight and expertise behind the Wolves.

"I think they're a good outfit, and will go far in this tournament. What they lack in talent and cricketing ability, they make up for in flair and flagrant transsexualism."

Gus Gould will be attending every Rabid Wolves match.

By Funkysee Funkydo

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Damning evidence of medocrity there.

 

[vic_orthdox]

lolling my bewbs off, h9rs

 

[Goughy]

When asked about comments made from around the country, WWRW captain said "For ****s sake. Cant people find their own rivalries? I know we are high profile and at the top of the cricketing tree but all we really care about is ERUB. The cross town rivals are what derby and rivalry games are about. Garven City, Davisham, Fardingtow, Nixonambe, Morktown or whatever they are called need to find their own big rivals as we already have one."

 

[Nate]

Biggest rival your ever increasing gut iirc.