Fardingham ****atoos

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Extend a warm Fardingham welcome to new franchise assignee Chris Raftery.

Looking for big things from this youngster.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Bar Star pre-season warm up

I've just had my first play with the Bar Star system.

Kearsley and I have just had a pre-season bout in the local pub in Trinidad & Tobago (thanks for the visit Kearsley) and the following results were processed by the Simulator:

A win for Heath by 353 to 243

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

What kind of specialty is ****tail mixing?

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

What kind of specialty is ****tail mixing?

One that's useful for the successful mixing of ****tails without ending up with alcohol all over you!

 

[Mister Wright]

Pint Pouring: 1
****tail Shaking: 0
Small Talking: 5
Bar Cleaning: 1
Atmosphere Ambiencing: 3

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

One that's useful for the successful mixing of ****tails without ending up with alcohol all over you!

Not a manly skill though.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Not a manly skill though.

Not manly as such, but the Laideez love a good ****tail.

 

[cpr]

Pint Pouring: 3
****tail Shaking: 1
Small Talking: 3
Bar Cleaning: 1
Atmosphere Ambiencing: 2


May I announce my arrival with a hearty cheer of the supporters favourite chant

'Come on the ****s!!!'

 

[Mr Mxyzptlk]

Could be worse. Could be "Get in, you ****s."

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Could be worse. Could be "Get in, you ****s."

After a quick spate of boundaries, the commentators may be heard to say, "A good spurt from the ****s there"

 

[cpr]

"A good spurt from the ****s there"

.... "Squeezed it through the covers"


If Nixontown can bring it James Nixon, can we coax Peter Willey out of retirement?

 

[Robertinho]

Checking in.

Pint Pouring: 2
****tail Shaking: 5
Small Talking: 1
Bar Cleaning: 1
Atmosphere Ambiencing: 1

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

****tail Shaking: 5

'oo do yoo fink yoo are? Tom bloody Cruise?

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Fardingham welcome new signing Gaurav Nayak. He's expected to clear up against some of the mediocre bowling line ups in this competition.

Still waiting on the BarStar stats from Kweek, and of course our new signing.

 

[NZTailender]

He's expected to clear up against some of the mediocre bowling line ups in this competition.

So you're playing all your matches against yourself? Itstl.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

So you're playing all your matches against yourself? Itstl.

Its certainly one way to help Fardingham to a victory....

Imagine the carnage with the two of us opening the bowling. Me giving away extras like they were going out of fashion and you serving up the worst sort of buffet since Harvester removed the sneeze guards on the Salad Cart during the big 1992 Catarrh Incident.

 

[cpr]

Worrying lack of activity down here in the ****s department.

 

[Nate]

Worrying lack of activity on the 20/20 front full stop tbh.

 

[HeathDavisSpeed]

Still waiting on their 'BarStar' stats from Kweek, Nayak and new signing, Perm.

Welcome to one and all.

I'm thinking that in a few games, I may well take up the coaching role and watch from the sidelines. As such, the Vice Captaincy will be a key role for the ****s. Is there anyone out there wanting to take on the responsibility of occasionally leading the side on the field whilst I swan off down the pub??

 

[Perm]

Pint Pouring: 5
****tail Shaking: 2
Small Talking: 3
Bar Cleaning: 0
Atmosphere Ambiencing: 0

Pleased to be with the ****s.