Like Nick's idea. Except in a slightly more measured fashion.
Adelaide - when was the last time they were involved in a game where everyone thought, "Wow, that was four quarters of good footy". Downhill ever since Wayne Weideman and Rod Jameson left.
Brisbane - I actually find it pretty tough to hate Brisbane. But Rhan Hooper gives me the irrits to the max, and they did basically get a massive leg-up from the AFL for no real reason other than to make them successful.
Carlton - Jack Elliott, shemozzle, arrogant. Could live with them in the bottom four for the rest of my life to be honest.
Collingwood - media saturation; players are just as uneducated as their fans, who I don't even want to get started on.
Essendon - biggest whingers, dead set. Always an excuse.
Fremantle - their supporters have no nous at all. It is like a bunch of redneck Americans have become AFL fans. The club has no heart or soul.
Hawthorn - a club that is holding back the development of the game as an exciting spectacle. Use your players, ffs, stop retarding them. Supporters also love to whinge.
Kangaroos - Ron Joseph. Gave Shane Harvey a second chance in football.
Melbourne - their supporters actually enjoy living upto their stereotype of not caring when they are losing. A bunch of front runners who rely on being fed the football.
Port Adelaide - have you ever seen a club with a bigger chip on their shoulder. Hope they die out. Can't pull a crowd in Adelaide. Williams and the Cornes' - bellends.
Richmond - they dropped House. Get so overexcited at anything that hints of success. Only when their season goes to the dogs do they attempt to play a positive brand of footy.
St. Kilda - Riewoldt is the biggest knobjockey in the AFL. They have Fiora, Milne and Montagna playing for them, and they used to have Thomas. And why the hell didn't they keep Kosi at CHB when he first came to the club?
Sydney - with Borcich here, inject some youth. And I hate their fans going on about "the Bloods" as though they have some sort of involvement in it. It's a player movement, stop being cheap claimers.
WB - I can't wait till West retires, and if Cross is having a bad day there will be 21 Bullies players wandering around waiting for someone to give the ball to them.
West Coast - 92, 94 and a real stench of supremism around the place.