new joke

[amokk1]

^^^ lol

 

[Smudge]

Back in the early 1980s, Ian Botham went into his favourite restaurant in the West Indies and ordered the turtle soup.
The Head Chef came out of the kitchen to apologise personally as they couldn't make him any turtle soup.
"WHY NOT????" aske Botham, "I come here everytime we're on tour and I love your turtle soup so much that I've been telling people all over the world about it"
The chef replied: "The problem is, Mr Botham, that we cannot get them to put their heads out of their shells so we cannot cut off their heads and boil them. As soon as they know we're coming they hide away and there's no getting them out."
"Ah, I see your problem" replied Botham, "leave it to me" and he goes out into the kitchen. picks up a turtle, sticks his finger swiftly up its bum. the turtle's head shoots out, eyes bulging, Botham chops his head off then proceeds to the next one.
When he's done 5 or 6 of them he passes them over and says "now you can make my turtle soup"
The staff are amazed and ask where he learned to do such a neat trick.
"Oh, it's easy" says Botham.











"It's the only way we can get an MCC tie on Gladstone Small."

 

[Fiery]

Back in the early 1980s, Ian Botham went into his favourite restaurant in the West Indies and ordered the turtle soup.
The Head Chef came out of the kitchen to apologise personally as they couldn't make him any turtle soup.
"WHY NOT????" aske Botham, "I come here everytime we're on tour and I love your turtle soup so much that I've been telling people all over the world about it"
The chef replied: "The problem is, Mr Botham, that we cannot get them to put their heads out of their shells so we cannot cut off their heads and boil them. As soon as they know we're coming they hide away and there's no getting them out."
"Ah, I see your problem" replied Botham, "leave it to me" and he goes out into the kitchen. picks up a turtle, sticks his finger swiftly up its bum. the turtle's head shoots out, eyes bulging, Botham chops his head off then proceeds to the next one.
When he's done 5 or 6 of them he passes them over and says "now you can make my turtle soup"
The staff are amazed and ask where he learned to do such a neat trick.
"Oh, it's easy" says Botham.











"It's the only way we can get an MCC tie on Gladstone Small."

 

[PhoenixFire]

Back in the early 1980s, Ian Botham went into his favourite restaurant in the West Indies and ordered the turtle soup.
The Head Chef came out of the kitchen to apologise personally as they couldn't make him any turtle soup.
"WHY NOT????" aske Botham, "I come here everytime we're on tour and I love your turtle soup so much that I've been telling people all over the world about it"
The chef replied: "The problem is, Mr Botham, that we cannot get them to put their heads out of their shells so we cannot cut off their heads and boil them. As soon as they know we're coming they hide away and there's no getting them out."
"Ah, I see your problem" replied Botham, "leave it to me" and he goes out into the kitchen. picks up a turtle, sticks his finger swiftly up its bum. the turtle's head shoots out, eyes bulging, Botham chops his head off then proceeds to the next one.
When he's done 5 or 6 of them he passes them over and says "now you can make my turtle soup"
The staff are amazed and ask where he learned to do such a neat trick.
"Oh, it's easy" says Botham.











"It's the only way we can get an MCC tie on Gladstone Small."

 

[KiWiNiNjA]

Back in the early 1980s, Ian Botham went into his favourite restaurant in the West Indies and ordered the turtle soup.
The Head Chef came out of the kitchen to apologise personally as they couldn't make him any turtle soup.
"WHY NOT????" aske Botham, "I come here everytime we're on tour and I love your turtle soup so much that I've been telling people all over the world about it"
The chef replied: "The problem is, Mr Botham, that we cannot get them to put their heads out of their shells so we cannot cut off their heads and boil them. As soon as they know we're coming they hide away and there's no getting them out."
"Ah, I see your problem" replied Botham, "leave it to me" and he goes out into the kitchen. picks up a turtle, sticks his finger swiftly up its bum. the turtle's head shoots out, eyes bulging, Botham chops his head off then proceeds to the next one.
When he's done 5 or 6 of them he passes them over and says "now you can make my turtle soup"
The staff are amazed and ask where he learned to do such a neat trick.
"Oh, it's easy" says Botham.











"It's the only way we can get an MCC tie on Gladstone Small."

Too good!!!

 

[cover drive man]

Max and Joe

Two 90 year old men, Max and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Max visits him every day. One day
Max says, "Joe, we both loved cricket all our lives, and we played district crcket
together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get
to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's cricket there."

Joe looks up at Max from his death bed," Max, you've been my best
friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Max is awakened from a sound
sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"

"Max--Max."

"Who is it?, asks Max sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Max--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little
bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Max.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's cricket in heaven.
Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.

Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it
never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want,
and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Max. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So
what's the bad news?

"You're fielding on Tuesday.

Haha great joke.

 

[cover drive man]

One day Heaven and Hell were arguing. They decided to have a cricket match to prove who was the better side god said.

"You have no chance, we have all the great players, Such as Bradman, W.G, Malcom Marshall and Bob woolmer is our coach."


The devil said

"Yes but we have all the umpires"

 

[Turbinator]

Back in the early 1980s, Ian Botham went into his favourite restaurant in the West Indies and ordered the turtle soup.
The Head Chef came out of the kitchen to apologise personally as they couldn't make him any turtle soup.
"WHY NOT????" aske Botham, "I come here everytime we're on tour and I love your turtle soup so much that I've been telling people all over the world about it"
The chef replied: "The problem is, Mr Botham, that we cannot get them to put their heads out of their shells so we cannot cut off their heads and boil them. As soon as they know we're coming they hide away and there's no getting them out."
"Ah, I see your problem" replied Botham, "leave it to me" and he goes out into the kitchen. picks up a turtle, sticks his finger swiftly up its bum. the turtle's head shoots out, eyes bulging, Botham chops his head off then proceeds to the next one.
When he's done 5 or 6 of them he passes them over and says "now you can make my turtle soup"
The staff are amazed and ask where he learned to do such a neat trick.
"Oh, it's easy" says Botham.

"It's the only way we can get an MCC tie on Gladstone Small."

I don't get it , please someone explain.

 

[KiWiNiNjA]

I don't get it , please someone explain.

Gladstone Small

 

[1-9-7-7]

Super

 

[headhunter]

2 mates best of friends.one of them is on there death bed and the other says to im tell me is there cricket in heaven? so his mate dies. hes lieing in bed and a ghost come to him..its his mate who says there is cricket in heaven but.....your opening next monday.

 

[cover drive man]

2 mates best of friends.one of them is on there death bed and the other says to im tell me is there cricket in heaven? so his mate dies. hes lieing in bed and a ghost come to him..its his mate who says there is cricket in heaven but.....your opening next monday.

Its been said. No offense

 

[1-9-7-7]

Its been said. No offense

the one thread he picks to type it out.

 

[headhunter]

Its been said. No offense

woops well i guess thats whar i get for robbing it off a popular tv programme.