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Your Sledges?

Nate

Nate

You'll Never Walk Alone
Neil Pickup said:
My preference is just continually chatting to the batsman, whether or not he wants to talk to you, slowly questioning his technique, gameplan, attitude, concentration... and all of a sudden he's not thinking about batting any more and he's out.

Best moment last season was keeping wicket - with five overs left, Ashburton needed 24 to win and their number six had just crossed 50. We were short on ideas, and seeing as it was 8.40pm, short on bowling as I wasn't allowed to bowl anyone but spinners. I noticed a big wire net above the hedge beyond the straight boundary, and asked the batsman, who was about 17/18, whether anyone had ever cleared it.

"Yes, loads."

"Have you?"

"No."

"That'd be a nice way to finish it off, wouldn't it?"

He came down the track to the next ball, and it skied excruciatingly between the bowler and mid-off.

"Unlucky Owen." I shout to the bowler, before chatting to the batsman again. "Never mind mate, nearly got there. Maybe next time?"

The next ball, he's off down the pitch again, and misses the ball entirely, leaving middle and off to be disturbed. We won by four runs.
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That guy has the worst mental strength of anyone, anywhere, in the world, ever. Forever.
 
Neil Pickup

Neil Pickup

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Nnanden said:
That guy has the worst mental strength of anyone, anywhere, in the world, ever. Forever.
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Good, wasn't it?

It was complete desperation staring at a defeat in the face and afterwards me and the slip fielder who'd heard it all could barely stop ourselves laughing.
 
James90

James90

Cricketer Of The Year
Played this guy the other day using a Size 5/6 bat and I kept asking him how old he was. Genuinely looked 11 so I kept reminding him how big the bowlers were. I asked his age again when we were shaking hands at the end and he was almost crying as he said "fifteen".
 
Burgey

Burgey

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Robertinho said:
:laugh: :laugh: The first one is so true, too. And I'm guessing the "bot" is meant to be "boy"? Hahaha.
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Yeah, it's meant to be boy, but my typo kind of makes it kinkier!
 
PhoenixFire

PhoenixFire

International Coach
Once, in a League Mens match, I was batting against this bowler who had some strange though that he was a fast bowler (Medium Pace really), so being me, I attempted to smash him out of the park. With the pitch and my bat handle being wet, it slipped out of my grip and smashed into the pitch, cracking the toe. I called for the 12th man to bring on a few of my 2nd bats for me to use, when the bowler comes up to be and says, "You must have pretty **** bats for them to snap that easily", I came up with the reply, "It's not that, they're just not used to bowling this slow". It might not have been a classic, but it shut him up good.
 
PhoenixFire

PhoenixFire

International Coach
Another one for you.

I was playing for my clubs men's side, against this other fast bowler, funnily enough. He though he was Akhtar pace, bowling all these bouncers and stuff, which I just ducked under all of them. Finally, I took on one of his short ones, that succeeded in skying it miles over wide mid-on, for it to drop about 3 metres past the fielder's head. The bowler walked down the wicket to stare me in the face, and I summoned up the balls to stare him back (he was about 6'2"). He says to me "What the **** are you looking at you little ****?", to which I replied, "Oh sorry, I thought you were my mum, you look like her, smell like and her and ****ing well bowl like her". It shut him up, but it didn't work too well since he got me out next ball.
 
DCC_legend

DCC_legend

International Regular
PhoenixFire said:
Once, in a League Mens match, I was batting against this bowler who had some strange though that he was a fast bowler (Medium Pace really), so being me, I attempted to smash him out of the park. With the pitch and my bat handle being wet, it slipped out of my grip and smashed into the pitch, cracking the toe. I called for the 12th man to bring on a few of my 2nd bats for me to use, when the bowler comes up to be and says, "You must have pretty **** bats for them to snap that easily", I came up with the reply, "It's not that, they're just not used to bowling this slow". It might not have been a classic, but it shut him up good.
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lol:laugh:
 
DJellett

DJellett

International Debutant
Captain: "Love that length Dyl"
Me: "That's what his missus told me last night"
_______________________________________________

Me "Bowl in that good spot boys, his missus tells me he cant find the g-spot"
 
DJellett

DJellett

International Debutant
Oh, and to the oppostions ageing and hatless captain:

Some bloke: "Hit the rough patch, Dyl"
Me: "If not I'll just hit his bald patch"
 
DJellett

DJellett

International Debutant
Tahnks mate, which were you reffering to?

I like to think I make good sledges, as much to make mates laugh as they are to annoy the bats...
 
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