Cricket Web’s Ashes Predictions 2010

Heeeeere we go. It’s the big one (sorry to countries not involved, but it is). We at Cricket Web are convinced we know everything about cricket, and hence predicting every fine detail of what’s going to happen should be pretty straightforward.

In a telling development, all of the Aussies on the features team have mysteriously gone AWOL two days before the Ashes. Or “pulled a Midge Johnson” on us, to give the technical term. Therefore we have an uncharacteristically one-sided set of predictions from Englishmen Martyn Corrin, Martin Chandler, Marcuss Deane, Peter Blackburn, Paul Wood and Tom Coghlin. The outsider perspective comes from James Nixon and Ganesh Venkat, from New Zealand and India respectively.

1. Who’s going to win, and by what score?
Martyn: England, 5-0. Anything else should be considered a failure.
Martin: England, 3-1.
Marcuss: 2-2, with England levelling the series in the final test after chasing down 360+.
Peter: England, 2-1.
Paul: England 2-1.
James: Australia 2-1.
Ganesh: Aus, 3-1.
Tom: England, 3-1.

2. Who will be each side’s player of the series?
Martyn: Stuart Broad for England, runs n’ wickets. Clarke again for the clowns.
Martin: Punter will have a decent series with the bat but there’ll be a few captaincy gaffes along the way so he’ll be player of the series for both sides.
Marcuss: Andrew Strauss for England. Bollinger for Australia, who will be their leading wicket taker despite only playing three tests.
Peter: Michael Clarke with mountains of runs for the Aussies, and KP to return to form with several dashing centuries for England.
Paul: Ian Bell for England (not just for his 192!) and Clarke for Australia.
James: The two captains, Ponting and Strauss, will be the two highest run scorers.
Ganesh: Punter for Aus and KP for England.
Tom: Johnson, Bell.

3. How many wickets will Graeme Swann take?
Martyn: 22.
Martin: 19.
Marcuss: Expecting two 5fers from Swann, at least one for less than 100 runs. I’ll go with 26.
Peter: 21.
Paul: 24. Five from the first ball of a new spell and all but two of them left-handers!
James: 14.
Ganesh: 26.
Tom: 15.

4. Who or what will be the surprise package of the Ashes?
Martyn: Ian Bell- he’ll have a good series. Perhaps not a surprise to anyone who’s watched him since his recall, but his name has a stigma attached to it that he’ll get rid of once and for all.
Martin: Ajmal Shahzad
Marcuss: Matt Prior to be England’s second-highest run scorer, with one innings of 150+. Hussey to outscore Watson and Ponting for Australia.
Peter: Chris Tremlett. After an injury to one of England’s front line bowlers caused by a “freak footballing accident”, he’ll come in and pick up a 5fer.
Paul: Katich to play an attractive cover drive, Ponting to play a hook and not get out, and thirteen Aussies to take to the field at Brisbane (well, they named 17 in a squad so surely they can pick 13 of them in the team)
James: After all the talk of England dominating and winning easily, Australia will surprise them and be on top for most of the series.
Ganesh: Mitchell Johnson, for a change he will not bowl his usual tripe and could prove to be a genuine match-winner.
Tom: North to make 4 scores of over 50 but no centuries and Bell to score 600 runs. A high profile death will take place, possibly in one team or the commentary team (sorry) and Mark Nicholas will come out.

5. Anything else?
Martyn: Ponting to resign after Perth.
Martin: At the end of what will be a disappointing series on a personal level, KP will announce a temporary retirement from international cricket in order to concentrate on repaying Surrey for having faith in him.
Marcuss: There’ll be bad blood, and a lot of it. Accusations of ball tampering, at least one “dubious” catch and a few fines handed out. Ponting to miss a Test.
Peter: International retirement beckons for Hussey, Ponting et al.
Paul: Expect it to be a very close and hard fought series, Broad will bubble over at some stage, hopefully, in a return to the good old sledging days! This is an Ashes series, let’s have some verbals!!
James: After a continued run of bad scores, Kevin Pietersen will lose his spot in the team come the 4th test.
Ganesh: Probably for all the hype this will end up as a mediocre series between two mediocre sides.. and I think Aus will win this fairly easily.
Tom: The series winners will lose at Brisbane. Andy Flower will get an OBE. Broad will average 23.00 with the ball and Australia will field three different wicket keepers.

Sorry for the spoilers. Come back after the series for our triumphant celebration of the feature staff’s prediction skills.