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The Dismantling of India

Victor Ian

Victor Ian

International Coach
So Australia is the second best team - as dire as they have been....India number 1 (vomit in your mouth). Australia need to go to India and beat them! It is more dire than ever that this Indian dumbinance is stopped. Someone needs to go over there on their own turf and say "Listen, pissants, you can't prepare ONE type of pitch and play it over and over again at home and be the best". But India wont listen. So the only way to shut them up will be to beat them. Someone has to do it and it may as well be Australia, the 2nd best test team - as dire as they have been.

What needs to be done is for Australia to not give a toss about any other cricket from the moment they finish against Pakistan. In the other forms of the game, they will be competitive enough with a 2nd 11 for whatever comes before India.

1) Australian batsmen need to acclimatise to Indian conditions. They need to go to the subcontinent and learn how to bat on it against spin. They have to do what Hayden did all those years ago. The top 6 should all become Hayden.

2) Starc and Hazelwod need to go over there and learn how to bowl with their balls on their decks. They should learn to tamper with the ball. Cricket Australia should foot the bill for the fines. They can deflect unsportsman like play accusations by claiming they are just doing this to force a proper ruling on this practice that everyone does, including Australia, only not as well.

3) Lyon and another couple need to go over there and learn how to bowl on their decks. Murali needs to be hired. Get him to show our guys how to bowl there. Make sure Smith as present so he learns how to set fields and utilise the spinners. They should pay the Weed to teach our spinners how to spin in India. That should hurt them good - a traitor!

Getting practice on the subcontinent might be hard. But should it? Pakistan hate India. Cricket Australia should fund their players to show our all the secrets. Bangladesh need tests! Australia should hastily arrange a 5 test series over there, followed by another in Sri lanka too, if they can.

Can it be done? Someone needs to find a way to drop a meme bomb into the media that makes winning in India THE THING. Then it can become the players focus. We need a former player to call them all weak men to shock them into abandoning their metropolitan ways so they become hard focused country planks of wood again.

Now that my hyperbole is out of the way. What can really be done? Seriously?
 
Victor Ian

Victor Ian

International Coach
Australia need to beat Pakistan 3-0 and then go to India and beat them 3-0 to take back top spot. Until it doesn't happen, it COULD happen!
 
Zinzan

Zinzan

Request Your Custom Title Now!
Victor Ian said:
So Australia is the second best team - as dire as they have been....India number 1 (vomit in your mouth). Australia need to go to India and beat them! It is more dire than ever that this Indian dumbinance is stopped. Someone needs to go over there on their own turf and say "Listen, pissants, you can't prepare ONE type of pitch and play it over and over again at home and be the best". But India wont listen. So the only way to shut them up will be to beat them. Someone has to do it and it may as well be Australia, the 2nd best test team - as dire as they have been.

What needs to be done is for Australia to not give a toss about any other cricket from the moment they finish against Pakistan. In the other forms of the game, they will be competitive enough with a 2nd 11 for whatever comes before India.

1) Australian batsmen need to acclimatise to Indian conditions. They need to go to the subcontinent and learn how to bat on it against spin. They have to do what Hayden did all those years ago. The top 6 should all become Hayden.

2) Starc and Hazelwod need to go over there and learn how to bowl with their balls on their decks. They should learn to tamper with the ball. Cricket Australia should foot the bill for the fines. They can deflect unsportsman like play accusations by claiming they are just doing this to force a proper ruling on this practice that everyone does, including Australia, only not as well.

3) Lyon and another couple need to go over there and learn how to bowl on their decks. Murali needs to be hired. Get him to show our guys how to bowl there. Make sure Smith as present so he learns how to set fields and utilise the spinners. They should pay the Weed to teach our spinners how to spin in India. That should hurt them good - a traitor!

Getting practice on the subcontinent might be hard. But should it? Pakistan hate India. Cricket Australia should fund their players to show our all the secrets. Bangladesh need tests! Australia should hastily arrange a 5 test series over there, followed by another in Sri lanka too, if they can.

Can it be done? Someone needs to find a way to drop a meme bomb into the media that makes winning in India THE THING. Then it can become the players focus. We need a former player to call them all weak men to shock them into abandoning their metropolitan ways so they become hard focused country planks of wood again.

Now that my hyperbole is out of the way. What can really be done? Seriously?
Click to expand...
Lol Hard to distinguish which points you're serious about & which are in jest tbh.

Practice in the SC shouldn't be difficult at all, you're not telling me if CA proactively tried to get some warm-up games against some provincial Indian cricketers it would be denied are you?

Also, you almost make it sound revolutionary that a non SC side would hire the likes of a Murali, England have done this for years now with the likes of Mustaq Ahmed & a couple of others.

All of those things should be able to be achieved if CA, Smith, Lehmann & the selectors want it, and it should all help a little, although I doubt any of it will be enough to get them close to winning a test series there, but there's no harm in trying & it would at least make them more competitive than England were.
 
honestbharani

honestbharani

Whatever it takes!!!
I am absolutely dumbfounded that you did not mention that the first thing to do is to make Allan Border captain/player/coach/selector/CA CEO tbh. For shame, Vic Ian, FOR SHAME!!!
 
indiaholic

indiaholic

International Captain
Yup Aussies just need to grow moustaches and play hard cricket. Hit the ball with intent, spin the ball with intent, swing the ball with intent and most vital of all sledge with intent. #intent.
 
indiaholic

indiaholic

International Captain
All that aside it would be a huge disappointment if Starc doesn't just dismantle the line up with a ridiculous spell of reverse swing.
 
Victor Ian

Victor Ian

International Coach
honestbharani said:
I am absolutely dumbfounded that you did not mention that the first thing to do is to make Allan Border captain/player/coach/selector/CA CEO tbh. For shame, Vic Ian, FOR SHAME!!!
Click to expand...
Unfortunately the Great AB needs to use a foot spa to rest his aching feet. No shame there. Even the great Bradman got old and died. But, I suppose he should become coach. He was greatly aided by Simpson. He could make sure he doesn't over step the boundaries that worked for him to help TPC.

4) Get Border into the team as Coach. With mostly non Queenslanders in the Australian team Border can reuse his sledge that they are pissweak and he'll get a Queenslander to bat if they don't like the conditions. Great suggestion.

at Zinzan....
Australia likes to follow Englands setup lately. They absolutely MUST hire all available spin experts with the proviso that our spinners can tell them to go and get f'd, so long as they then bear the brunt of perma-bans, if they fail after ignoring sound advice. This will stand Australia in good stead for much more than one series win. All bowlers should append an SG ball to their bowling hand until the series starts.
They MUST go and practice in those conditions. I am sick to death of Australia, for that matter, ALL teams, turning up at the last minute and playing in foreign conditions so much. It detracts from the true beauty of test match cricket.
 
Victor Ian

Victor Ian

International Coach
indiaholic said:
All that aside it would be a huge disappointment if Starc doesn't just dismantle the line up with a ridiculous spell of reverse swing.
Click to expand...
He won't unless he learns to manipulate the ball properly. Top fluid mechanics scientists and ball roughing engineers should be hired to solve this. It is not about being skillful. It is about knowing the conditions and equipment.
 
honestbharani

honestbharani

Whatever it takes!!!
Victor Ian said:
Unfortunately the Great AB needs to use a foot spa to rest his aching feet. No shame there. Even the great Bradman got old and died. But, I suppose he should become coach. He was greatly aided by Simpson. He could make sure he doesn't over step the boundaries that worked for him to help TPC.

4) Get Border into the team as Coach. With mostly non Queenslanders in the Australian team Border can reuse his sledge that they are pissweak and he'll get a Queenslander to bat if they don't like the conditions. Great suggestion.

at Zinzan....
Australia likes to follow Englands setup lately. They absolutely MUST hire all available spin experts with the proviso that our spinners can tell them to go and get f'd, so long as they then bear the brunt of perma-bans, if they fail after ignoring sound advice. This will stand Australia in good stead for much more than one series win. All bowlers should append an SG ball to their bowling hand until the series starts.
They MUST go and practice in those conditions. I am sick to death of Australia, for that matter, ALL teams, turning up at the last minute and playing in foreign conditions so much. It detracts from the true beauty of test match cricket.
Click to expand...
Lol.. well played, Ian. Well played indeed. Every single post confusing on which part is serious, which part isn't. Gonna be handy in certain eventualities for sure. :)
 
Burgey

Burgey

Request Your Custom Title Now!
honestbharani said:
I am absolutely dumbfounded that you did not mention that the first thing to do is to make Allan Border captain/player/coach/selector/CA CEO tbh. For shame, Vic Ian, FOR SHAME!!!
Click to expand...
You can't keep going back to the past,l much as we might like to. The great man has ruled himself out of the upcoming tour, though he would still be in the top three players of spin int he current Australian side.
 
S

subshakerz

Hall of Fame Member
Winning the series seems out of question. But I think Australia are capable of being competitive, perhaps moreso than England. Starc has already done well in Sri Lanka and Josh can certainly keep the pressure.

The big question is batting. There's way too much pressure on Smith and Warner to perform in every outing. If both of them fail, Australia's goose is cooked. And they have an unsettled lineup as is. Ashwin will be licking his lips.

I though England, with a more settled side, would have been able to win at least one game, but even they didnt come close.

If I were an Aussie fan, I would be immensely happy at the team stealing one victory from the tour and be fairly competitve throughout. Thats about as much as they can hope.
 
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