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Made Up sightings of mundane cricketers

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
I once saw Jeetan Patel out kayaking. I say kayaking, but he was so worried about the white water that he was padding on the riverside terrace whilst the kayak tumbled down the cascade without him. Still, safety first.

Any purely fictional encounters with mundane cricketers that you've enjoyed?
 

RossTaylorsBox

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Saw Kane Williamson walking into a Holocaust deniers convention at the Epsom Community Centre. Seemed to be a pretty highly ranked member.
 

nightprowler10

Global Moderator
I saw Virat Kohli at a grocery store in New York during the T20 WC. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
 

HeathDavisSpeed

Cricket Web: All-Time Legend
Sorry guys, Kane Williamson and Virat Kohli are nowhere near mundane enough cricketers. If it was Peter Ingram at the grocery store or Trevor Gripper at the convention, then all well and good but otherwise, you're missing the target.
 

BoyBrumby

Englishman
Whilst idling away a spare forty-three minutes waiting for a delayed connecting train in Brighton (I later discovered an attempted coup d'état by maintenance workers at Newhaven was the cause) I saw an obviously down-on-his-luck Robin Martin-Jenkins, naked save for his right thigh pad and the tattered, greying remains of a jock strap, engaged in a bloody struggle with a small-to-average sized herring gull over a discarded cone of chips.

I found it a strangely compelling sight, towards the end RM-J was rendered effectively blind, his face a mask of seagull shit and his own blood, but still refused to concede the prize to his avian foe.
 

Smudge

Hall of Fame Member
I've never had a sighting of a mundane cricketer I'd previously fallen out with that I felt the need to reconcile with.

Unless you count most of my team mates over the years.
 

Howe_zat

Audio File
I saw former Yorks and Derbys slow-left armer David Wainwright in the queue for a cashier in Asda. He was behind me in the queue and was getting annoyed at how long the old guy in front was taking. I did think it was a bit odd (they kept showing the cashier different cards and there didn't seem to be a lot of reason for the hold up) so I turned around to have a joke with David about it, but he was a lot more irritable about it and kept messing with his phone while saying 'I can't be stuck here, I'm at work'. I wanted to point out that he wasn't at work, he was in Asda, but I'm not brave enough to go up against a man of his stature.
 

Molehill

Cricketer Of The Year
I remember one March that I was in the queue at a Barber's just behind Luke Wright. He'd recently returned from the Big Bash with a full head of hair and said he didn't trust Melbourne hairdressers. Things turned a bit nasty when the barber asked him if he had any holiday plans to which the feisty opener replied "don't you know who I am"? Didn't think he was that type tbh, but shows you never know.
 

Red_Ink_Squid

Global Moderator
Once when queuing up for the chippy I thought I saw Scott Borthwick walk past.

I pointed him out to my mate (who is also a big cricket fan) and said to him "Hey, is that Scott Borthwick who just walked past? I think it might have been Scott Borthwick."

My mate was like "Yeah, pretty sure that was Scott Borthwick."
 

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