Dear Neil Wagner

[Gnske]

Gawrsh, Neil, I just gotta say, you bowl like a champ! And I know that sounds a bit goofy, but I can't help myself. You make my heart skip a beat every time you charge in to bowl. Watching you play is like watching a cartoon come to life, and I mean that in the best possible way.

You've got a heart of gold, Neil, and you bring so much joy to the game of cricket. Your energy and enthusiasm are infectious, and I can't help but smile every time I see you on the field. You're like the Goofy of the cricket world, and I mean that as a compliment!

I know we've never met, but I feel like I know you from watching you play. You're a fighter, a competitor, and a true professional. And yet, you never take yourself too seriously. You always have a smile on your face, and you seem to genuinely love what you do.

I know this might sound a little silly, Neil, but I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I appreciate you. You make the world a better place with your talent and your attitude. Keep being you, Neil, and keep bringing the magic to the game of cricket.

With all my love,

Gnske

 

[Bahnz]

Dear Neil,

Back in 2008 I was a bit cynical and jaded about the state of NZ Cricket, so when I heard a South African fast bowler was coming to Otago to ply his trade I rolled my eyes. Just another no-talent opportunist who’d probably skedaddle the second he could move onto a county contract like Johanne Myburgh I thought.

Then one day in 2011 as I was checking the domestic cricket scores, my morning coffee took effect and by the time I came back from the bathroom Wellington had gone from 200/5 to 200 all out. That was my first introduction to the beautiful chaos that you bring to the game.

It was still a while until my eyes were truly opened to what makes you so wonderful. I enjoyed watching you huff and puff into the wind at the Basin and screaming expletives at terrified Bangladeshis but I still didn’t quite get it. That all changed in February 2014 when amidst a catastrophic collapse with bat and ball against India, you grabbed your petrified team by the scruff of the neck, looked them dead in the eye and said “Follow my lead and we will win this match.”

That day you gave NZ cricket it’s spine and cricket fans the world over a legend. Since then you’ve made the brutal beautiful and the ridiculous sublime. The obvious love and determination you have for the sport and the desire to help your teammates are an inspiration. You may not be the best bowler I’ve seen play for NZ, but you’ll always be my favourite.

Thinking of you always,
Bahnz

 

[Sunil1z]

Wagner’s best performance was against Smith in 2019 series in AUS imo. It was excellent bowling effort by him when his team was getting walloped.

 

[SteveNZ]

Retires (which he will soon) in the upper pantheon of NZ sportspeople who are totally beloved by the public. Right alongside Richie McCaw, Steven Adams, Valerie Adams, Lisa Carrington etc.

 

[lockton2skipper]

Got to love Neil Wagner for his super human efforts .

 

[Coronis]

Retires (which he will soon) in the upper pantheon of NZ sportspeople who are totally beloved by the public. Right alongside Richie McCaw, Steven Adams, Valerie Adams, Lisa Carrington etc.

I really do love Steven Adams

 

[NZTailender]

Retires (which he will soon) in the upper pantheon of NZ sportspeople who are totally beloved by the public. Right alongside Richie McCaw, Steven Adams, Valerie Adams, Lisa Carrington etc.

The fact we haven't had a Wagner endorsed fast food item resulting in promotional lifesize cardboard cutouts of Wagner is a crime imo

 

[Brook's side]

I asked ChatGTP to write a poem about the game in the style of Percy Shelley, and it gave me this:

Neil oh Neil how you stopped our tail's Wag.
Neil oh Neil how you took our victory out o' the bag.
Neil oh Neil where did you find the energy?
Where did you find the strength Neil?
to keep bowling over after over after over
each one after an-other?
And then England's famous victory denied
with one which just slipp-ed
slightly down the leg side.

 

[Bahnz]

I asked ChatGTP to write a poem about the game in the style of Percy Shelley, and it gave me this:

Neil oh Neil how you stopped our tail's Wag.
Neil oh Neil how you took our victory out o' the bag.
Neil oh Neil where did you find the energy?
Where did you find the strength Neil?
to keep bowling over after over after over
each one after an-other?
And then England's famous victory denied
with one which just slipp-ed
slightly down the leg side.

I hate how much I love this.