In reality...
No match-fixing, no crowd trouble, all the games take place when and where they ought to, no rain, no injuries to players, loads of incredibly close finishes, double centuries and five-fers. And England winning, and India and Australia not scoring a run or taking a wicket
(leaving reality now...
)
Leaving reality far behind...
I get a shock England call up after Chris Hinton becomes chairman of selectors, and it becomes compulsory to have one leg-spinner in the squad. All the other leggies were injured/unavailable, and any allegations of malpractice in the passport office are unfounded.
England cruise into the semis, I don't play any games until the Chairman decides that one leggie must
play, and Hussain doesn't count. Happily, in the semi-final, Trescothick and Knight both hit unbeaten 200s against India as England race to 438/0. Matthew Hoggard then takes all 10 Indian wickets to fall as England win by 2 runs, Steve Harmison having bowled a 442-ball over previously.
In the final against Australia, however, it's a different story. Hayden and Gilchrist get off to a flyer, and after 22 overs the Australians are 168/0, when at the drinks break a note appears to Nasser Hussain...
Hoggard Crap. Give leg Spinner chance. All other Bowlers Crap.
Reluctantly, I run on to bowl. My first ball nearly kills the square leg umpire. The next one flies over the batsman's head for four byes, but the next one, pitching one third of the way down the track, is slogged skywards by Gilchrist. Straight Up. Five minutes later, the batsman have run 38, but the ball comes down to Stewart's hands, and England have a break through.
In a succession of mis-hooks, slogs and terrible LBW decisions from Russell Tiffin (no, I don't know why he's standing in a World Cup Final. But reality died long ago), Australia collapse to 217 all out, with me taking 10/39 off 3.3 overs.
The run chase began poorly, and England slid to 108/5 before Andy Flintoff and Ian Blackwell led the comeback, patiently guiding England to 210/5, before four wickets fell for five runs in three overs.
49.4 overs, 215/9, MJ Hoggard 0* (facing), NS Pickup 0*
B Lee 9.4-3-28-3
49.5 Lee to Hoggard, one run, clips it off his pads to square leg where Harvey gathers to prevent more than a single
49.6 Lee to Pickup, full length yorker, the batsman doesn't have the time to start his backswing before the ball reaches him, it strikes the edge and zips towards Gilchrist diving right. Hoggard charging up the pitch screams, "RUN!" and I charge down towards the bowlers end. The ball clips the glove off Gilchrist's despairing dive and goes to ground. First Slip Shane Warne picks it up and pelts it towards the bowler's end stumps. My desperate dive with the bat in front of me scrapes the line fractionally before the bails come off.
Tiffin calls the TV umpire, and what seems like hours go by, after 19 minutes and 38 seconds of deliberation by third umpire Simon Taufel, the benefit of the doubt goes to the batsman and...
ENGLAND WIN THE WORLD CUP!