Dean Jones has advice.

Pedro Delgado · Jul 31, 2005

Former Derbyshire legend

Dean Jones has some words of advice for the England team ahead of the second Test this Thursday, I particualrly like the Tres one

If I was England coach Duncan Fletcher this is what I would say to each of the following players:

Marcus Trescothick: You must play Warney better. Use your pad but you must pretend that you are playing a shot - then the umpires have no clue.

Andrew Strauss: Just be yourself and trust your instincts.

Michael Vaughan: The pitches will get better. You read length better than any other player in the team so just back yourself.

Ian Bell: Keep using your feet because spinners hate it big time (even Warney).

Kevin Pietersen: Just catch it if a catch comes. And I reckon you can bat better.

Andrew Flintoff: Bowling was good but what was with your batting? Your head was in the clouds in both digs.

Geraint Jones: You kept badly but I rate you. No more excuses.

Ashley Giles: Stick to the game plan and bowl straight and if they make a mistake then you pick them up.

Simon Jones: Just work on your line and length. You are worrying these guys with your swing.

Steve Harmison: You worry the living heck out of these guys and yet you are so soft. Do you reckon Malcolm Marshall would have bowled a drive ball after he just hit someone?

Matthew Hoggard: Stop talking rubbish to the press about "bullies." Just bowl one side of the deck and forget everything you read.

King_Ponting · Jul 31, 2005

Pedro Delgado said:
Former Derbyshire legend Dean Jones has some words of advice for the England team ahead of the second Test this Thursday, I particualrly like the Tres one

If I was England coach Duncan Fletcher this is what I would say to each of the following players:

Marcus Trescothick: You must play Warney better. Use your pad but you must pretend that you are playing a shot - then the umpires have no clue.

Andrew Strauss: Just be yourself and trust your instincts.

Michael Vaughan: The pitches will get better. You read length better than any other player in the team so just back yourself.

Ian Bell: Keep using your feet because spinners hate it big time (even Warney).

Kevin Pietersen: Just catch it if a catch comes. And I reckon you can bat better.

Andrew Flintoff: Bowling was good but what was with your batting? Your head was in the clouds in both digs.

Geraint Jones: You kept badly but I rate you. No more excuses.

Ashley Giles: Stick to the game plan and bowl straight and if they make a mistake then you pick them up.

Simon Jones: Just work on your line and length. You are worrying these guys with your swing.

Steve Harmison: You worry the living heck out of these guys and yet you are so soft. Do you reckon Malcolm Marshall would have bowled a drive ball after he just hit someone?

Matthew Hoggard: Stop talking rubbish to the press about "bullies." Just bowl one side of the deck and forget everything you read.

Common sense comments there really

chipmonk · Jul 31, 2005

archie mac · Jul 31, 2005

I hope that was not 'ghosted' pretty shoddy writing, but a couple of good points.

Jono · Jul 31, 2005

I think he's spot on with Harmison, the rest aren't exactly ground breaking though.

Slow Love™ · Aug 1, 2005

What was the point of writing this? Amateurish, lazy and largely unincisive, which pretty much describes Deano's commentary on the game in general. I guess there was a little something in the S.Jones comment though.

Richard · Aug 2, 2005

Really?
I'd say most of the comments make sense - if only it was possible to do some of the things he suggested!
"Working on your line and length" and "catch what comes to you" are things which are as obvious as they come and as far from easy as they come.

Slow Love™ · Aug 15, 2005

Most of this advice was pointless nothings or stating the obvious, but boy D.Jones was ahead of the pack and right on the mark about Simon Jones worrying the Australians with his swing.

And Richard, unincisive doesn't mean Jones' comments didn't make sense - just that for the most part, they weren't saying anything the most casual of cricket watchers wouldn't have thought already.

honestbharani · Aug 16, 2005

I am gonna try some advice to the Aussies, Deano style...

Matthew Hayden - Stop talking, Start scoring.

Justin Langer - Put your head down and try to bat time. Get the others to bat around you.

Ricky Ponting - Do what you did in the last innings, and NOT what you did the innings' before that.

Damien Martyn - Play your natural game, don't try to be over positive.

Simon Katich - Read above.

Michael Clarke - Keep up the good work.

Adam Gilchrist - Trust your instincts. Will come good one day.

Shane Warne - Read Clarke

Kasper - Concentrate on reverse swing. Try to maintain a tight line.

Lee - Keep going. Hope for better catching.

McGrath - Get yourself fully fit.

Top_Cat · Aug 16, 2005

Justin Langer - Put your head down and try to bat time. Get the others to bat around you.

Isn't that pretty much what he's been doing?

Slow Love™ · Aug 16, 2005

LOL, this actually looks like fun. I think posters should list their one-liner advice for each player, a la Jones.

luckyeddie · Aug 16, 2005

Slow Love™ said:
LOL, this actually looks like fun. I think posters should list their one-liner advice for each player, a la Jones.

OK

Jason Gillespie - A man can earn a decent living selling pegs

Slow Love™ · Aug 16, 2005

In Deano style...

Matthew Hayden - You looked like an a$$ being worked out by Flintoff like that. You seem to be at the tail-end of your career, but it's been a good one.

Justin Langer - You got unlucky with that ball first up on the last day. But I have an enormous amount of faith in you to show the grit necessary for us to win this thing.

Ricky Ponting - Your captaincy has been poor, but that was your best knock ever. You won a lot of friends out of critics yesterday. Keep it up from here.

Damien Martyn - Like Langer, I think you've shown good concentration at times. But stop playing that wide slash in the air outside off stump - when you controlled that in your last few series, you had your best form stretch ever.

Simon Katich - I still don't know whether to rate you or not. Your form at the moment keeps your security in the side in doubt and is probably prolonging Hayden's career.

Michael Clarke - I really like your hair, and you're very appealing. I'm not a doubter, I definitely think you have what it takes. The injury curtailed your usefulness somewhat, and like all the top order, you've struggled to read the swing at times.

Adam Gilchrist - I just don't know what to say here. You're a great in my book, and carry as much responsibility for Australia's recent dominance as anybody. You just need to find a way to counter this around the wicket weakness, even if it seems that few bowlers truly exploit it.

Shane Warne - An unproductive second-innings in this test, but still a master and you don't need any advice from anybody. You're still the monolithic obstacle England need to get by in order to win this series.

Kasper - You have outbowled Gillespie all this tour, IMO, and should have been in the test side sooner. But your form hasn't been great, and you really need to pick up the slack for McGrath and Lee's sake.

Lee - Your spirit is wonderful for this side, and you HAVE proven a lot of your doubters wrong. You can be extremely talismanic when you're firing, just keep up the good work, but don't get stuck in these occasional bouncer ruts when players are handling them well.

McGrath - You're a god, and like Warne, nobody is really entitled to give you advice. You know exactly what to do. Hopefully the ankle will be far better next test and you'll have more confidence in your movement.

howardj · Aug 16, 2005

Hayden - You were outclassed last night. Flintoff is not your main problem though - it’s your lack of hunger to build an innings. Remember how hard you fought to make the team? Over the next Two tests, your career depends on you rediscovering that same hunger.

Langer - Impressed by your application. You’d crawl across broken glass for the Ashes. Unlike your mates, you've shown a stomach for the fight. A couple of big scores beckon.

Ponting- Champion knock. Like your innings yesterday, back yourself with the captaincy. Stop consulting so much, and worrying about what people might think. Your captaincy career hinges on the next two games. So, if you're going down, go down doing it your way.

Martyn - You always look a million dollars. However, like you did in Sri Lanka and India, respect the attack, by reigning in your aggression by 10%, and be a little more patient.

Clarke - Don't get caught on the crease on off-stump. More importantly, stop being content with scores over 30. Play for the team, and if you get a start, be the one to turn the Test match.

Katich - you were great at Lords - you proved you can do it. When they're coming around the wicket, take guard on off-stump, and loosen up a bit.

Gilchrist - You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You can't be expected to bail the team out all the time, so when you bat, just relax and continue to play your shots. Don't let Flintoff get to you, as it's effecting your keeping. Remember, if you go at the ball, go hard - don't just caress it, like yesterday.

Warne - Your bowling is great - no advice needed. Anyway, you’ve always been a good batsman, see what happens when you apply yourself at the crease? By the way, is a slider just a leggy that doesn’t turn?

Lee - You’ve pleasantly surprised me. Remember, that your best balls hit the top of off-stump- Michael Vaughan, anyone? Yorkers and bouncers are not stock balls. For effect, they are to be used sparingly.

Gillespie - You’re a champion bloke, but there’s a pattern there with your bowling, and it stretches all the way back to Pakistan in the last Australian summer. It hurts to drop you, but the team comes first.

McGrath - England are going to go after you in the next two Tests - don’t get annoyed about it. Remember that you do your best work when you are cold and calculating - not annoyed, and frustrated.

Shane Warne · Aug 16, 2005

Hayden - I'm beginning to think you are Graham Hick in disguise you flat track bully. You look like you are going to get out on every ball. Last chance.

Langer - Compared to Hayden you've looked OK but for some reason havn't got anywhere near enough runs. Last longer, Stop making Giles look like Murali.

Ponting - OK so you got a valuable ton this time, well played but stop getting 0 all the rest of the time. Also read 'The Art Of Captaincy' by Brearley ASAP so you can help Warne with the tactics and decision making.

Martyn - Stop playing airy fairy wafts and get some runs for a change. Take responsiblity, show some passion and stop being so laid back and giving it away.

Clarke - You're 91 was lucky because you played a rubbish shot but Peitersen can't catch.
Stop giving it away so pathetically with awful shots.

Katich - Stop looking so sickly and weak and choking against Flintoff before you become his second bunny to go with Gilly.

Gilchrist - You've been the most disappointing player of the series. Flintoff completely owns you and somehow manage to be worse than Geriant Jones with the gloves. Sort it out NOW.

Warne - I love you. Unlucky in the 2nd innings at Old Trafford mate, Gilchrist let you down badly. I can only imagine your frustration with your inept team mates. Must also comgratulate you on your captaincy.

Lee - You are a gutsy fighter and deserve respect. You are a bit hit and miss with the ball but one of the few players who emerge with positives in this team.

Gillespie - It is sad to see what you have become. Go home, or become an opening batsman in the mould of Atherton.

Mcgrath - Very good as always with the ball. Excellent batting. Like Warne 10 out of 10 but stop playing rugby.

chalky · Aug 16, 2005

Slow Love™ said:
LOL, this actually looks like fun. I think posters should list their one-liner advice for each player, a la Jones.

G Jones Invest in pair of velcro gloves

chalky · Aug 16, 2005

Hayden - I'm beginning to think you are Graham Hick in disguise you flat track bully. You look like you are going to get out on every ball. Last chance

Good one

age_master · Aug 17, 2005

Lee needs to keep thinking throughout all his spells, he is starting to think through his bowling more but still goes through patches where he just seems to bowl to get hit - spend time with McGrath and learn.