Yeah, I thought your post was dumb. Get over it mate.
It’s done. The course of it to any impartial observer, inevitable but the ultimate statement never certain.
In the end despite the snarling, the denials, the endless incessant slights, the pitiable attempts to brow beat, belittle, criticise; deny, deflect and obfuscate (all the classis traits of the impoverished ‘bully’) there was nowhere to go and finally, slowly, inexorably (given the essence of your current nature, and it is current, we can all change) this final self-uttered admission of the objective of your original ‘post’.
It is a pity only for yourself that you could not bring yourself to apologise. It was never expected, nor of any value to anyone outside of your own conscious, but it would have been an initial step forward for you in a potential journey of self-recognition. To use symbolism rather than those devilish metaphors, the event itself is an amoebic pebble but to roll it would prove to the roller that the process is possible.
A lot of water has flown under the bridge, on a trip I’d rather not have taken but had to do so as a necessity, until this last utterance of yours that finally hoisted you up onto your own petard and closed the shrinking circle. Its direction followed the classic course for someone of your nature.
The bullying, aggressive, arrogant, initial attitude. The sense of being better and bigger and brasher than others to the point that they are merely ‘stage chorus’ to be demeaned for your own sense of frail worth. A lack of cognisance, to be trapped in the prism of the necessity to only grandiose one’s self – either by knocking down others or comically elevating oneself with the most meaningless of self- awarded achievements (my cricket knowledge, a matter of public knowledge).
We do not know the true name of Jarquis, Marcuss, the Astronaut or Pirate. But he has given us an elongated wormhole into what, how and who he is.
Sometimes, to use one of those ‘kinda weird’ metaphors again, the messenger is shot. But the gun is revealed and as a result the owner is neutered to the benefit of the society around him. I sense we will see less of this from yourself ongoing, at least to the majority; it can be hoped.
And of course, it is just a metaphor- there were no real shots, just a display of a somewhat troubled soul. I’m afraid I cannot be your mate; I am not that saintly but I do hope you have some to call on that will help you in the greater scheme of your onward life journey. Let it out, but in a good way.
We can only hope this is a trajectory moment and your orbit (for you) may follow a different course….Ground control to Major Tom….. we have
blast off, the astronauts have cleared the tower!
