Conditional XIs

[Shri]

pick a team for imaginary scenarios

preferably at least 10 players from the modern era after odis and crap came into play

i'll start

playing a test in a normally deteriorating indian pitch and chasing a target on day 5 in that track that is turning a bit but not too much

aka, not a pitch where any border, clarke or harbhajan can take 5.

hayden
sehwag
dravid
kallis
smith
laxman
gilchrist
benaud
marshall
steyn
mcgrath

 

[Gnske]

Showing awful disrespect to pick a dead man who never played ODIs in a modern era side.

van Zyl
Hughes
Fulton (c)
Rahane
Voges
Blackwood
Vilas +
Warne
Caddick
Starc
Martin

 

[RossTaylorsBox]

99% of Earth's population has been killed in a nuclear war and it's post-apocalypse. Before the survivors kill each other for food, one last cricket game will be played.

Shahid Afridi
Shane Watson
MS Dhoni
Shaun Marsh
JP Duminy
Sanath Jayasuriya
Tim Southee
Saj Mahmood
Harbhajan Singh
Jade Dernbach
Rubel Hossain

 

[CricAddict]

Condition: Out of the playing book. You can only play with unusual batting stance/bowling actions.

Bordering on the ATG thread as well. Have gone with only people I have seen playing. The tail in this team is quite poor though.

Amla
Lambert
Steve Smith
Kevin Pietersen
Bailey
Chanderpaul
Klusenar
Malinga
Bumrah
Murali
Adams

 

[Gnske]

All round good guys vs the all round absolute jerks in world cricket

Jerks XI

Slater
Shehzad
Kohli
Pietersen
Clarke
Butt
Parore
Warne
Panesar
Harbhajan
McGrath

Good guys XI

Cook
Boon
Dravid
Williamson
Hussey
Holder
Gilchrist
Sammy
Lee
Akram
Murali

Don Bradman as the honorary 12th man for the Jerks XI

 

[Shri]

physical contact xi

gambhir - on field - afridi, watson
hayden - bumping into mcgrath in a local game after smacking him for a boundary
warner - root
bairstow - headbutt
inzi - some fan for calling him a potato
stokes - various
dhoni - that bangladeshi trundler whoever the **** it was
symonds - streaker
warne - marlon samuels **** you mate
lillee - miandad
wahab the jacket riaz - someone in psl maybe


12th man

harbhajan - sreesanth

 

[Tom Flint]

All round good guys vs the all round absolute jerks in world cricket

Jerks XI

Slater
Shehzad
Kohli
Pietersen
Clarke
Butt
Parore
Warne
Panesar
Harbhajan
McGrath

Good guys XI

Cook
Boon
Dravid
Williamson
Hussey
Holder
Gilchrist
Sammy
Lee
Akram
Murali

Don Bradman as the honorary 12th man for the Jerks XI

Akram is a strange one. Plenty of questions over his character and I've always thought he comes across as an arrogant cheating ****. Imrans the better bloke

 

[Gnske]

Too bad hes a ****ing politician ayyy can't trust em, can't trust em ****. They're all ****ed in the head mate. He probably has ****in dirty mong out orgies with all the inntelgensia and the freemasons, doing their slip-slop happy days handshakes in the rooftop bars sipping down some merlot. It's all munted, that's all I know. But they don't know that we know, but I know that they know that I know. But you don't know that, but now you know. So now they don't know that you know that I know the truth that you now know. It's ****ed, it's all ****ed mate. They're all in with one another. ****ing sly mofos all of them.

 

[the big bambino]

Yeah dunno bout that.

 

[Howe_zat]

Condition: cricketers whose names sound a bit like crisp flavours

1. Smoky Baconrad Hunte
2. Varun Choprawn ****tail
3. Ready Salted Dexter
4. Raman Subba Roast Chicken
5. Andy Floworcester Sauce
6. Barbecue Beefy Botham
7. Luke Ronchilli
8. Ashton Salt and Vinagar
9. Niel Prawn Adcocktail
10. Graham Pickled Onions
11. Rizwan Cheesema and Onion

 

[Gnske]

Yeah dunno bout that.

Of course you dont know, he didn't know thats why I had to tell him.

wtf

 

[Starfighter]

physical contact xi

gambhir - on field - afridi, watson
hayden - bumping into mcgrath in a local game after smacking him for a boundary
warner - root
bairstow - headbutt
inzi - some fan for calling him a potato
stokes - various
dhoni - that bangladeshi trundler whoever the **** it was
symonds - streaker
warne - marlon samuels **** you mate
lillee - miandad
wahab the jacket riaz - someone in psl maybe


12th man

harbhajan - sreesanth

Gabriel and Rabada worth a mention too. Also Sylvester Clarke for throwing a brick into the crowd.

 

[RossTaylorsBox]

Condition: cricketers whose names sound a bit like crisp flavours

1. Smoky Baconrad Hunte
2. Varun Choprawn ****tail
3. Ready Salted Dexter
4. Raman Subba Roast Chicken
5. Andy Floworcester Sauce
6. Barbecue Beefy Botham
7. Luke Ronchilli
8. Ashton Salt and Vinagar
9. Niel Prawn Adcocktail
10. Graham Pickled Onions
11. Rizwan Cheesema and Onion

If I was a mod you would've been banned for this post, but I'll chuck you a like instead.

 

[trundler]

Gabriel and Rabada worth a mention too. Also Sylvester Clarke for throwing a brick into the crowd.

Colin Croft ran into an umpire once

 

[Red]

All round good guys vs the all round absolute jerks in world cricket

Jerks XI

Slater
Shehzad
Kohli
Pietersen
Clarke
Butt
Parore
Warne
Panesar
Harbhajan
McGrath

Good guys XI

Cook
Boon
Dravid
Williamson
Hussey
Holder
Gilchrist
Sammy
Lee
Akram
Murali

Don Bradman as the honorary 12th man for the Jerks XI

Is Panesar a jerk? I'd be inclined to swap him for Brett Lee.

 

[Shri]

Lee is okay for an aussie

harmless apart from his staredowns and a great guy from whatever we have seen from him off the field

 

[GoodAreasShane]

Lee doesn't seem like a wanker at all tbh

Sure he is a Tony Abbott fan, but supporting a **** doesn't make you a **** yourself

 

[vcs]

He did try murdering that Piers Morgan guy once.

More to the point, that music video he made with Asha Bhosle is pretty unforgivable.

 

[GoodAreasShane]

He did try murdering that Piers Morgan guy once.

More to the point, that music video he made with Asha Bhosle is pretty unforgivable.

If anybody on the face of this planet deserves that, it's Piers Morgan

 

[Prince EWS]

Lee doesn't seem like a wanker at all tbh

Sure he is a Tony Abbott fan, but supporting a **** doesn't make you a **** yourself

He did try murdering that Piers Morgan guy once.

Trying to murder a **** doesn't make you a **** yourself either.