Just about everyone has helped themselves to some very free and very unnecessary runs in recent years. Here are some nominations to kick things off
Kallis: averaged 500 in Zimbabwe. More than his average in every other country put together. Because you never know when a series average of under a few hundred will cost you a trophy against the mighty Zim. His average was some 1500% higher than when AUS toured SA, which was fine, cos RSA always won those tours in his time, and didn't really care about winning them anyway.
Hayden: couldn't hack it against a decent pace attack as a fricken opener, but decided to take a leaf from Kallis's book and compensate by scoring 380 against Zim.
Sehwag: ditto the opener comment, so he just decided to score all his runs in Asia where pace was ineffective. Still managed to stink it up at the critical times when a decent pace attack was touring.
Jayawardene: was hopelessly inept in South Africa against decent attacks, so when South Africa sent their worst attack in a century to the flatest of Lankan pitches, he decided to get his revenge by scoring 374, making nearly 50% more runs in a single partnership than he managed on 3 tours of South Africa.
Lara: decided winning was unimportant, and not content with being the previous record holder, decided to to flush his team and the possibility of a win down the toilet and score 400. But complaints about him being self centred from within his team were unjustified.
Feel free to add to the list by bad-mouthing all and sundry, taking care to avoid giving them credit for any other accomplishments in the process.
Kallis: averaged 500 in Zimbabwe. More than his average in every other country put together. Because you never know when a series average of under a few hundred will cost you a trophy against the mighty Zim. His average was some 1500% higher than when AUS toured SA, which was fine, cos RSA always won those tours in his time, and didn't really care about winning them anyway.
Hayden: couldn't hack it against a decent pace attack as a fricken opener, but decided to take a leaf from Kallis's book and compensate by scoring 380 against Zim.
Sehwag: ditto the opener comment, so he just decided to score all his runs in Asia where pace was ineffective. Still managed to stink it up at the critical times when a decent pace attack was touring.
Jayawardene: was hopelessly inept in South Africa against decent attacks, so when South Africa sent their worst attack in a century to the flatest of Lankan pitches, he decided to get his revenge by scoring 374, making nearly 50% more runs in a single partnership than he managed on 3 tours of South Africa.
Lara: decided winning was unimportant, and not content with being the previous record holder, decided to to flush his team and the possibility of a win down the toilet and score 400. But complaints about him being self centred from within his team were unjustified.
Feel free to add to the list by bad-mouthing all and sundry, taking care to avoid giving them credit for any other accomplishments in the process.
