Ricky Ponting Poem

[cpr]

Quite simply, I call this one '96

​'96

The timid young face was so innocent and fair
Hiding behind flowing locks of ginger hair

22 years if he was a day
But boy that young man showed us he could play

He stood waiting to bowl, patiently at his mark
And on his run up the young man did embark

Irani stood there, shot already in mind
But a look back and no off stump he would find

Robinson got 2, and wanted another
But he hit hard at first slip, held by Fairbrother

Rollins walked out, fear in his eyes
And straight back next ball, no real surprise

Next over went Illot, having avoided the hat-trick
But his leg stopped a ball that was on for the centre stick

Cowan came in, and stayed for a while
But when his stumps were split he gave a wry smile

Last up to the crease was a man they called Such
But another clean bowled showed he didn’t amount to much

The ball had been swinging, and the bowling was clean
And the young man in question took 6/18

6 overs of peaches, and not one bad apple
Was bowled by the legend that is called Glen Chapple
​

 

[Hurricane]

Quite simply, I call this one '96

​'96

The timid young face was so innocent and fair
Hiding behind flowing locks of ginger hair

22 years if he was a day
But boy that young man showed us he could play

He stood waiting to bowl, patiently at his mark
And on his run up the young man did embark

Irani stood there, shot already in mind
But a look back and no off stump he would find

Robinson got 2, and wanted another
But he hit hard at first slip, held by Fairbrother

Rollins walked out, fear in his eyes
And straight back next ball, no real surprise

Next over went Illot, having avoided the hat-trick
But his leg stopped a ball that was on for the centre stick

Cowan came in, and stayed for a while
But when his stumps were split he gave a wry smile

Last up to the crease was a man they called Such
But another clean bowled showed he didn’t amount to much

The ball had been swinging, and the bowling was clean
And the young man in question took 6/18

6 overs of peaches, and not one bad apple
Was bowled by the legend that is called Glen Chapple
​

They just get better

 

[Dan]

Dan Announcements

The sun rises in the east
and it sets in the west
But one should always set their watch
by the Boxing Day Test

From another Smith ton(ne)
and Virat being a ****
It's all to familiar
like a C-Rogers block

With Little Davey Warner
and his smelly poodle
All the damn sledging
made Rohit's brain a noodle

See the lyrical beauty
of cricket is dead
So stop with the ****ty poetry
Infracted! Go to bed!


​

 

[Dan]

It'd be so much more contextual if I could infract GIMH and close the thread, but I can't do the first and the second would be too cruel.

 

[Athlai]

Got like-baited with the tonne. Damn you Dan.

 

[Dan]

An Ode to Athlai

Jeets Jeets Jeets
Jeets Jeets Jeets
Phlegm likes horses
If you know what I mean.

Jeets Jeets Jeets
Jeets Jeets Jeets
Central Districts suck
And Howsie's boys too.

Jeets Jeets Jeets
Jeets Jeets Jeets
Corey Anderson's big hits are fun
But he's got nothing on a James Franklin ton(ne).

Jeets Jeets Jeets
Jeets Jeets Jeets
I'm failing at the final hurdle
Like Wellington.
​

 

[Spikey]

1-2, 1-2, 1-2

its lil' davey warner here and im here to say poetry is for ****ing losers
theoretically, i can't speak iambic
**** you you ****ing **** eat a dick

 

[Riggins]

speak english spikey

 

[Prince EWS]

The first poem is skill absolutist propaganda. Two thumbs down.

 

[Uppercut]

The first poem is skill absolutist propaganda. Two thumbs down.

You just hate abilities. Commie bastard.

 

[Daemon]

When he marks his run up, ball in hand
The world marvels at this specimen of a man
He flashes an ugly smile for the world to see
as he sends down his first delivery
It pitches short of a length and beats the edge
He walks up to the batsman and attempts a sledge
"chutiya"
Back at his mark he's extremely confident
But the next ball he bowls is a major embarrassment
Short, wide and hit for four with a loud crunch
He hangs his head in shame and waits for lunch
During the break he rushes back to the pavillion
But to his dismay none of the food is vegetarian
What a terrible morning for Ishant Sharma
As he watches the rest tuck into their Chicken Korma

 

[Prince EWS]

You just hate abilities. Commie bastard.

The ultimate insult.

If you followed Australian politics you would've really rammed it home by saying "Go **** yourself, you communist turd." (language warning)

 

[Swingpanzee]

The Sledger

My life is sad,
Blocky is ****
You bowl a no-ball
I smash the free hit

You have no control
of my mind and soul
I am Satanic
time for ***** to panic

Now you may think I'm Dave Warner in disguise
So be it - but I am yet to fetch my prize
A permaban is what I seek
And then the future of CW shall look bleak

I am a **** by conscious volition
Now you wonder - am I just superstition?
But despite my trash-talk, I never lie.
I'm off to watch my Hentai.

 

[Howe_zat]

shots fired

 

[sledger]

I'd write something in response, but I cbf and have no idea who this swingpanzee person is anyway.

 

[Cabinet96]

By Sledger he could easily just mean someone partaking in the act of sledging.

 

[sledger]

By Sledger he could easily just mean someone partaking in the act of sledging.

If you believe that you'd probably believe me if I told you I thought MS Dhoni was not a slogger.

 

[Jono]

sledger's *****ing out here. big time

 

[sledger]

sledger's *****ing out here. big time

This is all I have to say to that:

 

[Jono]

now thats a poem