Will attempt to put aside my rage and objectively rate the players now:
Vijay: Excellent early in the series. Faded as the series progressed, but still looked the least clueless of the top 5. 2nd innings at Lord's was easily the best knock he's played for us. He's had a really good year and hopefully carries on. We desperately need at the very least one stable opening slot. 6.5/10
Dhawan: Clearly couldn't handle the conditions, but still looked slightly more composed than Gambhir. 1/10
Pujara: Huge disappointment. Played an underrated, key role at Lord's in the first innings, but then regressed with each passing innings. 3/10
Kohli: Could do nothing right. Didn't correct his mistakes, dropped catches, signed up for a Karan Johar movie. 0/10
Rahane: Genuinely great knock at Lord's. Wasn't found out like Kohli or Pujara, but kept giving it away with annoying dismissals. 4.5/10
Dhoni: Surprised by the way he batted... definitely our best batsman in the second half of the series. Captaincy, the Lord's fluke aside, was poor as per usual. 6/10
Jadeja: Fluked a vital knock at Lord's, but should never play test cricket again. Sooner we get rid of such bits-and-pieces players the better. 2/10
Ashwin: Still not good enough to be a key part of the attack overseas, but showed signs of improvement. As well all know, can bat. Should be persisted with for overseas tests and he'll improve to a decent level with the ball. 3.5/10
Bhuvneshwar: Standout performer in the first half of the series. Predictably did well with the ball in English conditions, but needs to add something to his game to succeed elsewhere. Faded as the series progressed like Vijay and Rahane. 7/10
Ishant: Hilariously confounding spell at Lord's and really wasn't as terrible as expected even apart from that. 5/10
Shami: Along with Pujara, the biggest disappointment of the series. Has gone from "looks like a decent bowler" to just another rubbish Indian pacer with 'talent'. 1/10
Aaron: Expensive, but has something about him. Still think Yadav should've played instead of him but produced one genuinely quality spell to give us a decent session after ages. 5/10
Pankaj: Poor bloke bowled well on debut, but it shouldn't be forgotten that he was terrible after that. 3/10