Shane Warne
If my first wish would be to bat like Brian Lara, my second wish undoubtedly would be to be able to bowl like Shane Warne (I’d be a mirror image of both, but I digress.) Frankly, I could put him in this team for his 2005 Ashes efforts alone. He tormented England’s batsmen every single time he was brought on to bowl, and if Ponting could have bowled him from both ends in the two Tests that McGrath missed through injury, then I think he would have. I’ll never forget the nervy Trent Bridge run chase – 32/0 after 4 overs chasing 129, then Warne comes on, immediately gets Trescothick and gets Vaughan 6 balls later to set the cat amongst the pigeons. I honestly thought we’d blown it when he trolled Geraint Jones into smacking one straight up in the air to leave England 7 wickets down with 13 runs still to get.
That innings, in a nutshell, summed up Shane Warne. A constant menace to batsmen the world over, and a psychological weapon for Australia in their battles against England. As long as Warne was bowling, the game never felt won. Part of this mastery of the psychology within the game was the multitude of deliveries Warne had in his armoury – the topspinner, the zooter, the slider – all of which were basically deliveries that went straight on. He just invented deliveries to toy with batsmen’s minds, famously tormenting Darryl Cullinan of South Africa to the extent that none of us remember him for his fine batsmanship. We just remember the fact that he failed hilariously against Warne and had to seek a psychiatrist.
What places Warne on this list, much like his partner in crime Glenn MacGrath, is the mastery he had over his art. He raised the bar for leg-spin the world over with his accuracy and left the game as its greatest wicket taker. More than that though, was the sheer theatre that surrounded every Warne delivery. The deliberate setting of the field. The slow walk to the crease, and the explosion through it. And the waiting...would it be the leg break, the big leg break, or the ****ing massive leg break? (Warne actually broke HawkEye at the Oval in 2005 by sending down a delivery that turned too much; HawkEye had to be re-calibrated as when they tried to re-create the delivery, they got a “computer says no” error.) Or perhaps Warne had set you up perfectly for one that was going to go straight on and rap your pads dead in front, at which point you’d have to contend with The Appeal. As an aside, how many more wickets would have got in today’s age, with umpires more willing to give front foot lbws and a DRS system to review those ones where the umpires weren’t picking his straight ones?
As an England fan, watching Warne bowl in the Ashes was tortuous at times. But it was engrossing, beautiful, and sporting theatre at its finest. Not only was Warne a marvellously skilled bowler, but he was a useful batsman down the order, a fine slipper and a great tactical mind. Which brings me onto my third wish; not only do I want to bowl like Warne, I’d want to think like Warne as well. I hadn’t realised just how much I missed watching him until his Ashes masterclass on Sky. Cricket won’t see his like again.
Furball's Greatest XI
1. AJ Strauss *
2. R Dravid
3.
4. BC Lara
5. KP Pietersen
6.
7.
8.
9. SK Warne
10. JM Anderson
11. GD McGrath