Round 1, Battle 11
Brad Haddin (Australia)
Crimes:
- Return to the Healy standard of tact and elegance among Australian keepers
- Incidentally, total ****
-
Cheating, Neil Broom edition
-
Slapfight with Umar Akmal
-
Crowning jewel of 47-all-out-gate
"I don't think you're a cheat ... mate, let's get on with it. " - Daniel Vettori texts Haddin
"I was waiting by the phone all the time and, to be honest, I would have been a prick to live with for those two weeks." - Haddin on waiting for his admission to the lifetime prick's club
Please tell me Athlais banner was the "Haddin is a cheat" one? Classic
haddin you ****ing idiot **** **** **** **** what the **** was that
Australia has a tradition for good to great wicket keepers. Brad Haddin is a blot on that. Its immaterial how good a batsman he is, his primary job is keeping. If this is the best he can do maybe Australia should ask Mr cricket to take up the gloves.
John Snow (England)
Crimes:
- Dropped from the Sussex side for 'not trying'
- Barging the pure-as-fallen-snow
Gavaskar
- Only toured three times over eight years, missing most due to either hissy-fits with the board or board hissy-fits with him
- Almost decapitating Terry Jenner
- **** at poetry
"Now, that's a ****ing bouncer." - Snow to Rowan Kellam, after being reprimanded for bowling a bouncer the previous ball
"The ultimate thing in life is to play Test cricket for England." "The ultimate thing in life is death." - Snow gambhirs a dinner with Basil d'Oliveira
“Standing
on a still summer’s day,
eye watching swallows
earth-hugging
insect-chasing away,
wondering what to do,
knowing that it always happens
and now it’s happened to you.” - Excerpt from John Snow's MySpace
"Sure, just let me get my shirt off and wipe away the sweat." - Snow, on being asked to apologize to Gavaskar
Javed Miandad (Pakistan)
Crimes:
-
Does not work or play well with others
- Subject of a player's revolt while captain in 1982
- Coached Pakistan, failed, so naturally the PCB reappointed him twice
-
A decent snapshot of his relationship with Imran
- Coming out of retirement in 1996 to say he played in six World Cups, and averaging 27 striking at 51
- PCB stooge
-
Married his daughter off to the son of a crime lord
"Obviously when you have other sub-standard teams across the world, then surely Australia will end up being the No. 1 team." - Javed Miandad-Dickinson
"Had it been Javed Miandad in charge, who seldom spotted a potential fire without wading in with a can of petrol, they'd probably have had to use the waste pipe on the motorised water mop as a riot cannon." - Christopher Martin-Jenkins on the 2006 forfeited Test
"My guess is that Imran's efforts were aimed at trying to create an intrigue against my captaincy." - After not being invited to a party thrown by his BFF Imran Khan
"Despite the injustices done to me and the conspiracies hatched against me I am still very happy with what I achieved in the game and what Pakistan cricket has given to me." - It's tough being Javed
"What Miandad did was the most disgraceful thing I have seen on a cricket pitch." - Greg Chappell weighing the Lillee incident against witnessing Ray Bright bowl