NEW FEATURE ON BENCHMARK00WEB.NET: Indian cricket test series report & analysis

[benchmark00]

Nominate Spikey to write the English report for their series against Pakistan.

 

[Daemon]

I reckon the conversation pretty much went like this:



Indian Thinktank Member #1:
So Dravid has dropped about 1,000 catches at first slip in the past two years; we should probably do something about that...

Indian Thinktank Member #2:
Not a lot we can do, really. Maybe we could just move him to second or third and Tendulkar to first?

Indian Thinktank Member #1:
Well that could work, but what about when we only have one slip in? Dravid is a terrible outfielder and Sachin enjoys his time running about for little burts..

Indian Thinktank Member #2:
Good point; we'll just have to put Dravid back from second to first when that happens I guess.



Can't see any other way they could come up with what they did tbh.

No surprise that the Indian thinktank comprises of just two people with the IQ of ice cream (butterscotch).

 

[Spark]

That was also stupid. Totally disrupts Dravid's game.

First slip is so unique in that you watch the ball go onto the bat. Second slip onwards you're just focused on the bat. Having Dravid interchange between those two spots can't have helped.

Yeah agreed. First slip is an almost sacred position because it's so unique, and it didn't surprise me at all to see Kohli spill one when they tried to put him in there.

 

[Uppercut]

Re: Dhoni's genital-free captaincy; he's always been like it to a certain extent, but has he got worse since Fletcher took over or are we just noticing it more?

Deep cover point, for instance, is a very Fletcherish position.

Mmm I think it's just that they've been getting killed so much recently.

It's definitely getting worse though. I remember when Australia toured India in '08, Dhoni defended with the field very intelligently and generally kept trying things even when there was a partnership going. Ponting was the one who aimlessly put men on the boundary after the bowler sent down one bad ball. He did a phenomenal job of welding a young team into world beaters when he took over the LO sides after a few high-profile retirements, so you'd think he'd be a handy guy to have in charge for the next phase in Indian cricket, but he doesn't seem to have much enthusiasm for the job anymore.

 

[Spikey]

Nominate Spikey to write the English report for their series against Pakistan.

Dear Professional Cricketers,


Use your ****ing feet against spin bowling.





That's all I've got but well

 

[fredfertang]

Will a packet of hard candy twist your arm??

Tempted to dismiss this out of hand as woefully insufficient, but before I do that how large a packet are we talking about here?

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Benchy to replace old man Fletcher as the new Aussie coach. He'll annoy them into performing well.

 

[Cabinet96]

Speaking of which, what the **** was going on with Tendulkar going in and out of first slip all the time? Have never, ever seen anything like that before.

They had 3 first slips during the tour. Dravid, Tendulkar and Kohli.

 

[honestbharani]

Awesome stuff, Benchy.. Seriously, awesome.

 

[Jono]

Awesome read Benchy. Good stuff.

Totally agree with pretty much everything. I think Laxman did prod outside off a bit more than usual though.

Did Zinzan ruin that too? Jono will kill him!

?

 

[Spikey]

I said here instead of there: remember when kohli was here


but yeah kohli ending up at 1st slip because dravid was off the field and sachin was in the outfield was just so amazing

 

[Jono]

Is that a reference to the whole zinzan/martin crowe thing? Cos I think I missed that whole saga when I was off the boards, whatever that is about.

 

[honestbharani]

Speaking of which, what the **** was going on with Tendulkar going in and out of first slip all the time? Have never, ever seen anything like that before.

That was also stupid. Totally disrupts Dravid's game.

First slip is so unique in that you watch the ball go onto the bat. Second slip onwards you're just focused on the bat. Having Dravid interchange between those two spots can't have helped.

I reckon the conversation pretty much went like this:



Indian Thinktank Member #1:
So Dravid has dropped about 1,000 catches at first slip in the past two years; we should probably do something about that...

Indian Thinktank Member #2:
Not a lot we can do, really. Maybe we could just move him to second or third and Tendulkar to first?

Indian Thinktank Member #1:
Well that could work, but what about when we only have one slip in? Dravid is a terrible outfielder and Sachin enjoys his time running about for little burts..

Indian Thinktank Member #2:
Good point; we'll just have to put Dravid back from second to first when that happens I guess.



Can't see any other way they could come up with what they did tbh.

You guys probably missed my rants on this topic. It is another of those Tendulkar Things. " I always bat 4 no matter who is injured up the order" and " If I am in the slips, I am always first slip". Just stupid that 'no one in the team can go and talk some sense to him.



Weird thing is, I think if someone did ask him, he will see the sensible side and accept. Just don't think anyone in the side has the guts to go do that.

 

[Burgey]

You guys probably missed my rants on this topic. It is another of those Tendulkar Things. " I always bat 4 no matter who is injured up the order" and " If I am in the slips, I am always first slip". Just stupid that 'no one in the team can go and talk some sense to him.



Weird thing is, I think if someone did ask him, he will see the sensible side and accept. Just don't think anyone in the side has the guts to go do that.

Taken years, but you're finally coming around to realise Tendulkar is as damaging for Indian cricket as he is helpful.

 

[honestbharani]

Taken years, but you're finally coming around to realise Tendulkar is as damaging for Indian cricket as he is helpful.

Or maybe you just finally started reading my posts.


I should say, I don''t think it is Tendulkar who is harmful for Indian cricket. It is the attitude towards him by team mates, selectors, board, captain, fans, sponsors which are. That is why he comes up with **** like "Cronje is the toughest bowler I faced".. Bollocks, that is just him coming up with a line that would be funny for the papers the next day.. Just appreciate the guy for what he is and see the real positives in him. His enthusiasm for the game, the way he prepares, how he puts doing well in cricket above so many other things in his life, his amazing natural ability to judge the length of a ball so early, his razor sharp mind which works out the strokes and its angles in microseconds, the fact that he is among the greatest batsmen since Bradman, a sharp cricketing mind who is still not tired of thinking cricket when out on the field inspite of 20 years in the game..


But no, it has to be **** about how he is the best in the world, how he has NO faults and how he has done something good no matter what he does or does not do... It just gets irritating at times. He has a lot of good things about him and a few bad things. If you just learn to treat his pluses and minuses like with any other cricketer, it would be so much better. I already see something similar start to happen with Dhoni.


The only good thing about all the Tendulkar worship in India is, there is just NOT going to be another Tendulkar. Even if the next guy is actually better than him, no one is going to accept and are still going to sing Tendulkar's praises. The bowling attacks he faced would suddenly become better, the pitches he played would suddenly start becoming seamers and greentops and bunsen turners. God forbid he enters commentary, he will suddenly be better than Richie Benaud after his 5th game.


Some of the accounts of his 136 against Pakistan must be enough to show what I actually mean here.

 

[Jono]

" I always bat 4 no matter who is injured up the order

This is just a disgusting blatant lie...





... Sachin hasn't batted 4 when he uses a night watchman

 

[honestbharani]

This is just a disgusting blatant lie...





... Sachin hasn't batted 4 when he uses a night watchman

hmmm. I didn't think it was possible to make Sachin look worse than my post, but Joni just proved me wrong..



Looks like its the time of the Virat fans, tbh.






Just always remember, I was a Virat fan before it became cool. </HBK>

 

[Spark]

This is just a disgusting blatant lie...





... Sachin hasn't batted 4 when he uses a night watchman

Well played.

 

[Jono]

hmmm. I didn't think it was possible to make Sachin look worse than my post, but Joni just proved me wrong..



Looks like its the time of the Virat fans, tbh.






Just always remember, I was a Virat fan before it became cool. </HBK>

Where the **** were you HB when the Kohli bandwagon was under attack and everyone wanted him dropped for Rohit, were calling him Lohli, laughing at him dropping catches etc. etc.

We needed you on the front line and you went missing!

 

[Burgey]

Or maybe you just finally started reading my posts.


I should say, I don''t think it is Tendulkar who is harmful for Indian cricket. It is the attitude towards him by team mates, selectors, board, captain, fans, sponsors which are. That is why he comes up with **** like "Cronje is the toughest bowler I faced".. Bollocks, that is just him coming up with a line that would be funny for the papers the next day.. Just appreciate the guy for what he is and see the real positives in him. His enthusiasm for the game, the way he prepares, how he puts doing well in cricket above so many other things in his life, his amazing natural ability to judge the length of a ball so early, his razor sharp mind which works out the strokes and its angles in microseconds, the fact that he is among the greatest batsmen since Bradman, a sharp cricketing mind who is still not tired of thinking cricket when out on the field inspite of 20 years in the game..


But no, it has to be **** about how he is the best in the world, how he has NO faults and how he has done something good no matter what he does or does not do... It just gets irritating at times. He has a lot of good things about him and a few bad things. If you just learn to treat his pluses and minuses like with any other cricketer, it would be so much better. I already see something similar start to happen with Dhoni.


The only good thing about all the Tendulkar worship in India is, there is just NOT going to be another Tendulkar. Even if the next guy is actually better than him, no one is going to accept and are still going to sing Tendulkar's praises. The bowling attacks he faced would suddenly become better, the pitches he played would suddenly start becoming seamers and greentops and bunsen turners. God forbid he enters commentary, he will suddenly be better than Richie Benaud after his 5th game.


Some of the accounts of his 136 against Pakistan must be enough to show what I actually mean here.

I agree with pretty much all this.