What should we do with Mitchell Johnson?

[Uppercut]

The worst group in society without a doubt.

 

[Richard]

The group with the most bad members, maybe (I wouldn't know TBH - equally maybe not), but that's different from the "worst group" which essentially implies there's something intrinsically wrong with 'em all.

As a rule, bad types tend to be bad types regardless of age or gender.

 

[Pigeon]

The worst group in society without a doubt.

Teenagers.

 

[GIMH]

Nah, the Irish

 

[Jamee999]

Teenagers.

 

[four_or_six]

The worst group in society without a doubt.

You are joking?

 

[The Sean]

The worst group in society without a doubt.

I was going to say teenage girls would top them, but I suppose at least teenage girls have the excuse that they don't know any better.

 

[BoyBrumby]

You are joking?

Nah, he's deadly serious. I've always suspected UC was an ageist & a misogynist.

 

[irfan]

I'm sure his girlfriend would prefer him seam up and moving it around a bit rather than straight up and down.

I think Jess would be happy if he lands it somewhere near the target instead of spraying it everywhere. Cos otherwise, things would get a little icky....

 

[Top_Cat]

I was going to say teenage girls would top them, but I suppose at least teenage girls have the excuse that they don't know any better.

Only good for one thing anyway; making coffee.





What?

 

[aussie]

How long has this Ashes series been planned ?

Knowing there are differences between the Kookaburra and Duke balls I would have thought the Aussies would have been practicing thier back sides off with the Duke for months now.

Agree he's mentally shot . Can't risk playing him IMO.

The Aussies lose this one bye bye little Urn

I dont think it possible they could have been preparing the likes of Johnson, Hifly & Siddle with the duke ball before they got to England, given the amount of cricket AUS have been playing.

So unfortunately its clear its a situation where he just hasn't adjusted to the duke ball.

 

[aussie]

If he scrambles the seam like he has been doing he'll have problems with any ball.

His seam position in SA wasn't perfect either if you remember. I know for sure, from the club cricket i've played the duke ball is smaller than the kokabura as well & when you first feel the difference its takes a while to adjust.

Johnson arm has been fairly low in this series as well, so that tells me given the light weight of the ball he is trying to push the ball through. Theirfore he is losing that high arm action which is essential to his bowling.

 

[Burgey]

This is exactly why middle-aged women should all be shot.

No offence to any middle-aged women on the forum. It's for the best.

Hope his mum doesn't read these boards. Apparently she's attempted self-harm a couple of times.

 

[Uppercut]

Hope his mum doesn't read these boards. Apparently she's attempted self-harm a couple of times.

She's currently threatening to take me to court because her computer won't work. I'm yet to hear of any attempted self-harm though, unfortunately.

 

[Uppercut]

You are joking?

Apologies if you feel offended by my generalisations.

...


But middle-aged women are characterised by an inability to control their temper, eternal crankiness and a tendency to worry incessantly about what their neighbours think. They spend their days desperately trying to look younger and as a result closely resemble harpies, often getting drunk on wine and crying until they're kicked out of the bar/house/public toilet they're in. Their voices are high-pitches and broken, causing all nearby listeners to suffer brain haemorrhages within five seconds. Regardless of their actual quality of life, they will complain incessantly about stress to anyone who will listen, insisting that their boss/husband/car is out to get them and this is ruining their chances of finding happiness again. The only respite from this life of pain is in the hot celeb goss of Hello! magazine.

One will inevitably point out to me that not all middle-aged women are like this, and glare smugly as though they have just gifted me with a bead of fantastic knowledge of which I truly had absolutely no idea of. Seemingly they'll be unaware that taking my obviously-insane rantings seriously, growing hugely offended and screaming at me like a banshee is going quite some way to proving my point that the vast majority of 40-55 year old mothers live in a permanent state of comically over the top PMS.

Lester's wife in American Beauty is the perfect depiction of the typical middle-aged woman.

 

[jondavluc]

Apologies if you feel offended by my generalisations.

...


But middle-aged women are characterised by an inability to control their temper, eternal crankiness and a tendency to worry incessantly about what their neighbours think. They spend their days desperately trying to look younger and as a result closely resemble harpies, often getting drunk on wine and crying until they're kicked out of the bar/house/public toilet they're in. Their voices are high-pitches and broken, causing all nearby listeners to suffer brain haemorrhages within five seconds. Regardless of their actual quality of life, they will complain incessantly about stress to anyone who will listen, insisting that their boss/husband/car is out to get them and this is ruining their chances of finding happiness again. The only respite from this life of pain is in the hot celeb goss of Hello! magazine.

One will inevitably point out to me that not all middle-aged women are like this, and glare smugly as though they have just gifted me with a bead of fantastic knowledge of which I truly had absolutely no idea of. Seemingly they'll be unaware that taking my obviously-insane rantings seriously, growing hugely offended and screaming at me like a banshee is going quite some way to proving my point that the vast majority of 40-55 year old mothers live in a permanent state of comically over the top PMS.

Lester's wife in American Beauty is the perfect depiction of the typical middle-aged woman.

 

[Richard]

Apologies if you feel offended by my generalisations.

...


But middle-aged women are characterised by an inability to control their temper, eternal crankiness and a tendency to worry incessantly about what their neighbours think. They spend their days desperately trying to look younger and as a result closely resemble harpies, often getting drunk on wine and crying until they're kicked out of the bar/house/public toilet they're in. Their voices are high-pitches and broken, causing all nearby listeners to suffer brain haemorrhages within five seconds. Regardless of their actual quality of life, they will complain incessantly about stress to anyone who will listen, insisting that their boss/husband/car is out to get them and this is ruining their chances of finding happiness again. The only respite from this life of pain is in the hot celeb goss of Hello! magazine.

One will inevitably point out to me that not all middle-aged women are like this, and glare smugly as though they have just gifted me with a bead of fantastic knowledge of which I truly had absolutely no idea of. Seemingly they'll be unaware that taking my obviously-insane rantings seriously, growing hugely offended and screaming at me like a banshee is going quite some way to proving my point that the vast majority of 40-55 year old mothers live in a permanent state of comically over the top PMS.

Lester's wife in American Beauty is the perfect depiction of the typical middle-aged woman.

Vast majority?

Can only say not in my experience TBH. My experience, mind, is not especially extensive. I'd imagine I know - well - no more than 10-15 such types. None really fit that bill at all though.

 

[Top_Cat]

Uppercut = Norman Bates

 

[pup11]

His seam position in SA wasn't perfect either if you remember. I know for sure, from the club cricket i've played the duke ball is smaller than the kokabura as well & when you first feel the difference its takes a while to adjust.

Johnson arm has been fairly low in this series as well, so that tells me given the light weight of the ball he is trying to push the ball through. Theirfore he is losing that high arm action which is essential to his bowling.

I think the biggest problem for him are the conditions, a lot has been said about his inability to swing the ball, but he is in general a hit-the-deck bowler, who needs some sort of bounce and pace of the deck in order to bowl with some hostlity.

So far on this tour he has played on some very flat pitches, where the only way for a fast-bowler to be successful is either by swining the ball, or being accurate and giving nothing away to the bastmen, unfourtanelty in Mitch's case he hasn't be able to do any of that.

Therefore its hardly surprisng to see him struggle, I don't agree with your Duke ball theory that you are coming up with, because Mitch has sprayed it around in the past too, while playing with other balls.

 

[four_or_six]

Apologies if you feel offended by my generalisations.

...


But middle-aged women are characterised by an inability to control their temper, eternal crankiness and a tendency to worry incessantly about what their neighbours think. They spend their days desperately trying to look younger and as a result closely resemble harpies, often getting drunk on wine and crying until they're kicked out of the bar/house/public toilet they're in. Their voices are high-pitches and broken, causing all nearby listeners to suffer brain haemorrhages within five seconds. Regardless of their actual quality of life, they will complain incessantly about stress to anyone who will listen, insisting that their boss/husband/car is out to get them and this is ruining their chances of finding happiness again. The only respite from this life of pain is in the hot celeb goss of Hello! magazine.

One will inevitably point out to me that not all middle-aged women are like this, and glare smugly as though they have just gifted me with a bead of fantastic knowledge of which I truly had absolutely no idea of. Seemingly they'll be unaware that taking my obviously-insane rantings seriously, growing hugely offended and screaming at me like a banshee is going quite some way to proving my point that the vast majority of 40-55 year old mothers live in a permanent state of comically over the top PMS.

Lester's wife in American Beauty is the perfect depiction of the typical middle-aged woman.

Weird, have met no women like that personally. Sounds like someone out of a soap opera. Personally can't understand how middle-aged women can be generalised as a worse group than any age group of men.