WANTED: One English wicket-keeper

[Craig]

WANTED: One English wicket keeper, who can hold a cricket bat and knock out some runs to help out Kevin Pietersen for when the middle order goes AWOL. Ability to keep wickets well is also a strong must and so is the ability to play spin. Applicants are welcome to apply whether they are from England or South Africa or where ever. Applicants with the the liking of the sweep shot or to play shots that defy logic to need not apply. Any interested should contact Duncan Fletcher.

 

[adharcric]

Dear Mr. Fletcher,

I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

Regards,

Parthiv Ajay Patel

 

[33/3from3.3]

Gun.

 

[Laurrz]

i think Read is the best choice

but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps

 

[pasag]

i think Read is the best choice

but i think England should drop Mahmoof for an extra batsman perhaps

Will never happen with Flintoff carrying an injury.

 

[BoyBrumby]

This is the man for the job.

The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.

 

[ripper868]

I have an english grandmother, played a bit of keeper in under 16's and opened the batting a few times. does that mean i qualify?

 

[steds]

Dear Mr. Fletcher,

I am interested in the vacancy in your side. I was a teenage prodigy in India so surely I have some talent. Although I have yet to score a test century, my test average is far superior to that of either of your wannabe glovesmen. I may spill a few crucial chances in the next Ashes, but I will provide balance to the lineup and I'm an energetic little chap.

p.s. come on sir, you gave ashley a chance to look good, please ...

Regards,

Parthiv Ajay Patel

Dear Mr. Patel,

Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

Yours truely,

D Fletcher

 

[ripper868]

GOLD!

 

[Barney Rubble]

This thread > this Ashes series so far.

 

[33/3from3.3]

Brilliant!!!

 

[silentstriker]

Dear Mr. Patel,

Thankyou for your enquiry into the problematic wicketkeepers job. As you probably well know, in England there are a shortage of keepers with the required skills to make it in my Test side. I have tried my current two over and over again and every single time, whilst impressing me with their shoddy wicketkeeping, their lacklustre batting fails to justify their existence. Having looked at your credentials, you seem to tick all the boxes. You have a better Test average than both my keepers, admitted in your letter of application that you are infact a shoddy wicketkeeper, and - most importantly - you aren't English. Therefore, Mr. Patel, I am writing to inform you that, providing that you have/will have a UK passport, the job is yours.

Yours truely,

D Fletcher

Classic.

 

[Langeveldt]

Nic Pothas?

 

[Prince EWS]

Nic Pothas?

Easily the best keeper-batsman in county cricket, but I'm not exactly sure on his eligibility. He has played for South Africa in the past so England might be reluctant to pick him even if he was technically available.

 

[chaminda_00]

This is the man for the job.

The only current test batsman to average fewer than Read & Jones (clue: he plays for Bangladesh). Admittedly he'll be 34 by the time he qualifies, but Nixon can fill in until then.

Prasanna Jayawardene averages 17.88, its lower then all those three.

 

[Tomm NCCC]

FOUND: James Foster

Surely, If Read messes this up, they have to choose Fozzie? He's had a fantastic couple of seasons

 

[James90]

Easily the best keeper-batsman in county cricket, but I'm not exactly sure on his eligibility. He has played for South Africa in the past so England might be reluctant to pick him even if he was technically available.

Why would that be? If he's selected for England then he has to wait another 5 years before he can play for South Africa...unlikely that he'll leave then isn't it.

 

[Prince EWS]

Why would that be? If he's selected for England then he has to wait another 5 years before he can play for South Africa...unlikely that he'll leave then isn't it.

It isn't about the possibility of him leaving - it is about the fact that he has played for another country.

 

[James90]

I don't know why that should make a difference.

 

[Poker Boy]

WANTED: One English wicket keeper, who can hold a cricket bat and knock out some runs to help out Kevin Pietersen for when the middle order goes AWOL. Ability to keep wickets well is also a strong must and so is the ability to play spin. Applicants are welcome to apply whether they are from England or South Africa or where ever. Applicants with the the liking of the sweep shot or to play shots that defy logic to need not apply. Any interested should contact Duncan Fletcher.

Unless you're name is James Foster that is....