July05

The five greatest Ashes ads

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Unlike some of its sporting counterparts, cricket hasn’t always had the greatest advertising campaigns, however over the past few years this has changed for the better. In the lead up to the first test, Ashes HQ present the top five Ashes and Ashes related advertisments of the past few years.

5. 2006/07 Channel 9 Ashes Promo

A play on the infamous ‘Where the bloody hell are you?’ campaign, this ad gets into the top five for Pom soap jokes and for Lara Bingle enacting every cricketer’s greatest fantasy.

4. 2009 Sky Ashes Promo

I’ll be back!

It gets a bit cheesy towards the end and is let down by a cricketer’s fundamental inability to act, but a great idea nonetheless.

3. VB Boon & Warne

This ongoing campaign has been a bit hit and miss, though these are two of the best:

Any ad which advocates placing David Boon in a museum next to Phar Lap deserves to make the list.

The baby Warne creeps me out, but I can’t stop laughing at the image of Warne victims living out their days in a padded room in an mental institution.

2. Big Warnie

What’s the one thing that’s better than Shane Warne? A giant Shane Warne, of course. The faces of the bemused onlookers are absolutely priceless.

1. Budweiser Ashes 2005 ad

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This ad sums up the 2005 euphoria. It’s a complicated game with complicated rules and a complicated history, but who cares? England won, let’s celebrate!

July05

The Lucky Thirteen

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England have named their squad for the first Test, and to the relief of many, Steve Harmison misses out. A squad of thirteen has been selected, with the eleven who faced Warwickshire being joined by Ian Bell and Graham Onions. That means it consists of the following players: Strauss (captain), Cook, Bopara, Pietersen, Collingwood, Bell, Prior (wk), Flintoff, Broad, Anderson, Onions, Swann, Panesar.

Essentially there is one place in the England team that nobody is quite sure of, seemingly including the selectors. The three players in the above list that you wouldn’t bet your house on them being selected are Bell, Onions and Panesar.

Ian Bell seems highly unlikely to play despite his inclusion in the squad. You would have to imagine that he is simply there as the reserve batsman. It is unthinkable for England to play four bowlers with Flintoff in the side. Rightly or wrongly that has been the line that has been taken for a long time now, when Flintoff plays so do four other bowlers. Bell will only play if any of the batsman, or maybe Flintoff, fall victim to an injury during the next three days.

This of course means it is a shootout between Monty Panesar and Graham Onions for the last bowling spot. There has been plenty of talk of Cardiff turning square and England therefore wanting to go in with two spinners. Yet Australia are likely to play no spinners at all, and recent reports seem to suggest that the pitch has been somewhat overhyped; if one spinner will suffice, that will be Graeme Swann. Panesar has been in poor form all season long, and a few tailend wickets for England against Warwickshire should not have done too much to alter the selectors’ minds.

Onions is the man in possession of the place that Panesar would like, and he acquitted himself reasonably enough on debut against the West Indies in May. He has taken 40 first-class wickets at 13.02 apiece this season (excluding his Test wickets), these came in the first division and he would consider himself very unlucky to be left out. This compares with Panesar’s six wickets in the second division for an astronomical 86.66. Averages don’t have to be the be-all end-all, but when a player isn’t taking wickets then they shouldn’t be selected.

In the end the selectors have to decide whether the pitch really merits a second spinner, but also whether reputation alone is enough to pick a player who has been having a dismal season. History would suggest that Panesar is the more likely to get the nod, but this England setup has been a lot more proactive than recent ones, and as such it is not a stretch to predict that Onions will indeed play. Here is how I tip England to line up on Wednesday:

Strauss*
Cook
Bopara
Pietersen
Collingwood
Prior+
Flintoff
Broad
Swann
Anderson
Onions

It is not quite the Pietersen V Thorpe debate that we had four years ago, nonetheless, when it gets down to these decisions then you know the Ashes are nearly here. Three days to go…

July03

Steve Harmison? Really?

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It’s surprising me how many people are calling for the recall to the England side of Steve Harmison following his performance in the warm-up game for England Lions. Not just the usual long-term fanboys on the Sky commentary team who used to play alongside him, plenty of fans and pundits whose opinions I very much respect seem to be thinking he’s worth a recall.

A lot of people would make the argument that he doesn’t deserve an England place after his recent dire performances in India and the West Indies, but that doesn’t interest me. All that I want to be considered when a country picks their test side is which players are most likely to win them the match. Steve Harmison, for all his supposed pace and bounce, isn’t a man I ever feel is going to take any wickets when he comes on to bowl.

Nor has the warm-up game changed my mind. The case for his inclusion has gained a dynamic of its own, and as such his quality performance against Australia has turned into an all-conquering destruction of the touring side. I’ve watched every ball Harmison has bowled in this game, and he’s not even at his best. Everyone knows what he’s like at his best- he storms in, bangs the deck hard and has top-class batsmen jumping around uncomfortably. Harmison hasn’t been like that in the past few days. His pace drops considerably as each day wears on, calling his fitness into question yet again. Two of his first-innings wickets were full deliveries that deceived batsmen due to a (not deliberate) lack of pace.

Is that what Steve “he’s got pace and bounce!” Harmison is going to do to win England back the Ashes? Deceive Aussie batsmen by actually being medium pace when they’re expecting something scary? Vary his pace by starting off fast then lumbering in at the end of the day sending down half-trackers? I doubt that’s what the England selectors want from him.

When Harmison is at his best, he should be selected. When he takes six wickets in two innings bowling decently during a warm-up game, he should be sent back to Durham.

July03

The low-glider who occasionally soared

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When looking back on Michael Vaughan’s career, there are some of the most remarkable high points one could wish to savour. And perhaps a good job there are as well, because it puts to the back of the mind the fact that Vaughan spent a great deal of his career disappointing his many admirers and failing to reach understandably lofty expectations.