19 June - A Day of Contrasts

On this day in 2002, Surrey and Glamorgan scored an amazing 867 runs in a hundred of the most soul-destroying overs that bowlers this side of the average Zimbabwean attack have seen.

Ally Brown was the destroyer-in-chief, plundering 268 in just 160 balls of cultured strokeplay.

The game was the final C&G qualifier and saw the home side safely through to the quarter-finals.

England's soon to be greatest ever all-rounder, Rikki Clarke, scored 5 and took 0-30 in 4 overs.

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On this day in 1978, England thrashed Pakistan by an innings and 120 runs to establish a winning 2-0 lead in the series.

Englands soon to be second greatest ever all-rounder, Ian Botham, destroyed Pakistan's second innings with a stunningly brilliant 8-34 in the second test at Lord's.

Two days earlier, Botham had scored 108 in 110 balls in England's innings.

How times change.

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Brendon McCullum's decision to quit Otago for the greener pastures of Canterbury has raised a few eyebrows in New Zealand cricketing circles recently, but it's nothing to be surprised about, at least according to Jo Coudert, author of 'Seven Cats and the Art of Living'.

Coudert's masterpiece is described as "...a work that should appeal to anyone seeking simple, truthful answers to life's compelling questions".

The author says "The more deeply the path is etched, the more it is used, and the more it is used, the more deeply it is etched.", clearly laying the blame for McCullum's departure squarely on the shoulders of former Otago splitters Mark Richardson, Matt Horne, Paul Wiseman and Craig Pryor.

I am assured that the Otago dressing room now has just one door, clearly marked 'Exit'.

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Our Eastern European correspondent, Krakin Slypkatch, is travelling with the Slovak Cricket Club to the fair city of Vienna this week for the Austrian Cricket Carnival.

He says "Oh yes, I am a great fan of Kiri. I have all of her records and I am so much looking forward to meeting her in person. When I heard she was going to be in Vienna, I jumped at the chance".

One former international star expected to be in attendance at the Cricket Festival is Syed 'Kiri' Kirmani, one of India's greatest ever wicket-keepers. I think Krakin may have got the wrong end of the stick again.

Hitler was from Austria, which is spelt a bit like Australia. Don't mention the Waugh.

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Book Review - Harbi Patka and the Whirling Dervish - by Raman Subba Rowling

Harbi Patka is an skinny, beturbaned 11-year old orphan Sikh living with comical uncle Navjot Singh Sidhu and an obnoxious, bullying cousin called Bishen when he gets the call that changes his life : he has been accepted at Hogwash's School of Batcraft and Spin Wizardry.

The news might have been less of a shock for Harbi if he had known that he possessed the powers of flight, guile and deception in his index finger, but Harbi did not even know that the power to cast such spells existed in Krikit, the ancient kingdom he hails from, let alone within his own fair hand.

The author conjures up a magical world of crumbling wickets harbouring fifth-day demons, terrifying, spitting arm balls designed to strike the unwary on the back leg, together with wicked opponents such as the dreaded 'Ponting', a beast so intimidating that he temporarily defeats even our Harbi in his quest to rule the world.

Look out too for the comical Ajit - a large-eared beast and collector of ducks who becomes one of Harbi's greatest chums in this, the first of his 179 adventures which will be just like the other 178, but guaranteed to make us an absolute fortune.

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The negotiations between India and Pakistan with respect to re-opening cricketing contacts seemed to be bearing fruit a few weeks ago with both sides making encouraging noises, but now the sides seem as far away from a solution to the problem as ever.

Now ICC outgoing president Malcolm Gray has said that he wants to get involved. Ah well. That's the end of that idea, then.

The best possible outcome of the draw for the ICC Champions Trophy, scheduled for September 2004, would be for India and Pakistan to be drawn in the same group.

Excuse me a moment... (checks draw). Blimey. There's a thing.

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Whilst on a visit to see my cousin Vasbert's Drake, I met West Indian cricket fan extraordinaire Gravy the other day - what a character.

He walked into the bar carrying a plank, pads, armguard and a bat - the lot. The first thing he did was commandeer a couple of bar stools, then placed the plank across the pair of them.

He took a couple of minutes to put his pads on, picked up the bat and climbed atop the plank before adjusting his armguard. With music blaring in the background, he proceeded to play an immaculate-looking forward defensive shot.

This was followed by a sweep-cum-heave across the line, then glancing over his shoulder quickly he stood up, tucked his bat into the crook of his arm and walked off, looking bemused and somewhat disappointed.

Best Rikki Clarke impersonation I've seen in ages.








Posted by Eddie