International Diplomacy

Steve Waugh has played 160 times for his country at test match level whereas Warnie has appeared 107 times. Now I have no idea on how many occasions they have appeared in the same side, but I should imagine the figure would be close to 100. Throw in getting on for a couple of hundred common one-day internationals and it's quite obvious that they spend rather a lot of time either in or avoiding each other's company.

So it should come as no surprise that both players (well, one player and one ex-having-a-bit-of-a-break-soon-to-be-again player) should sing from the same hymn sheet. Either that or they both use the same speech-writer.

Speaking in Hampshire last week, Warney (who would have captained the county this season if it hadn't been for an earlier indescretion) described his protracted absence from the game as a 'hiccup'.

When pressed about his future, Shane insisted that motivation to get back into the Aussie side next year wouldn't be a problem, adding cryptically "Playing for Australia, you don't need any motivation. That's motivation enough."

On the same day, Steve Waugh's manager, Robert Joske, announced that the inspirational skipper is set to try his hand at acting, suggesting that Waugh will play the central character in an English film which will be shot in India. The move is obviously going to be interpreted by many as a pointer towards the end of his career as a cricketer.

Cue Steve Waugh, when the subject comes round to motivation : "Playing for Australia is enough motivation. There should not be any need for motivation when playing for your country."

Maybe someone got the wrong end of the stick, that there really was only one interview with one player, someone mis-heard one of the names, there is going to be a movie and it's going to be starring a cricketer who is currently out of the game for reasons we should 'keep mum' about?

A remake of "A Mother's Influence" or "Mommie Dearest" to follow, perhaps?

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One fixture from the weekend before last's Southern Electric Premier League (yes, the one where Al Bundy is secretary) looked certain to have attracted the attention of history fans - the clash between Trojans and Hambledon.

Hambledon is arguably the most famous village in cricket - the club have been in existence for 253 years. In fact, in 1772, Hambledon defeated England by 52 runs. Although they no longer play at BroadHalfpenny Down, the club are still going strong.

Anyway, their game at Trojans ended in a clear-cut victory for the home side. There were no examples of huge wooden horses stopping play, no-one by the name of Cassandra issuing portents of doom only to be ignored, no wanton slaughter of warriors slumbering in their drunken stupor, nothing.

What's the point of history if everyone's going to ignore it?

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Thirty years ago this week one of Barnsley's more famous sons, Harold Dennis 'Dickie' Bird, made his test debut at Headingley. In 1996 he retired to concentrate on his rapidly expanding light-meter and umbrella manufacturing company, having stood in 66 tests.

In the 23 years between Bird's first and last test match appearance, Britain has experienced, on average, a period containing the warmest, driest summers on record.

Funnily enough, Bird was only appointed to the International Umpires list as a counter to global warming. It is estimated that if had not officiated at so many test matches, Yorkshire would now be a real desert as opposed to just a cultural one.

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International captains and diplomacy have been very much to the fore in recent days. As well as Steve Waugh being feted to appear on the big screen, Rashid Latif has been at great pains to point out that the aggressive, bullying route is not his way, saying that players are more intelligent nowadays so they have to be treated with respect.

Brian Lara recently claimed that his side had 'Learned a lot from playing Australia' in the recent test and one-day series in the West Indies, and it certainly seems that Lara has earned the respect of his young charges as they bounced back from the mauling by the Aussies to edge out Sri Lanka.

Furthermore, Sourav Ganguly has come in for great amounts of praise from Steve Waugh too. Once again, he highlighted the respect and awe His Regal Left-Handedness is held in by his fine side. On behalf of Cricket Web, I should like to take this opportunity to wish The Great One a right royal happy birthday for today, July 8.

And then there's Graeme Smith. Ah well. You can't win them all.

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Just a quick note to say that the ECC Notts Sport Trophy website ( http://ecct2003.austrian-cricket.info/ ) has gone on line. The tournament, played in Austria between the 10th and 16th August this year, will feature the first international game to be held at the Markommannenstrasse Stadium (Austria v Luxembourg) on August 12th. Krakin Slypkatch will be reporting on this tournament (if he can tell the difference between Austria and Australia).

The ground name has been shortened in recent years. It was originally known as the Markramprakashommannenstrasse Temple in deference to the ancient Teutonic god of cricket.

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Some terrible news from Darwin - the Australian Nine Network have pressurised Cricket Australia to change the broadcast times of the Test and the VB Series one-dayer to be held at Darwin to a ridiculous 9.30 am local time.

Several inhabitants have told me that the early start time doesn't allow them sufficient time to collect fresh beer to put on their breakfast cornflakes between getting home from the pub and going out to the match.

A spokesman for Nine Network has said that the change has been forced upon them owing to matters beyond their control. Apparently, the last bus out of Darwin is at 4.30 pm and they don't want to miss it because they're only once a week.

James Sutherland added "The decision will ensure that cricket fans around the nation get to see as much coverage as possible of these historic matches". Not if they blink, they won't.

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Clarkewatch, dateline 8 July, 2003

Venue : Edgbaston
Event : England v South Africa, Natwest Series, game 8

Rikki dined on a fine breakfast of eggs, bacon, mushrooms and a sausage this morning at the team hotel, the Royal Brummygit Excelsior, Birmingham - the perfect start to what we expect to be a perfect day.

After a brief pimple-dressing at the hotel, Rikki made his way to the Edgbaston ground. He had an early lunch in the Ooroight Restaurant which is reserved for visiting dignitaries and Surrey players.

His lunch comprised quail's eggs, lobster and a small carafe of 1976 St Estephe - a cheeky little number, full-bodied, rounded and with a lingering aftertaste of caramel and jockstrap.

And so to the game

Fielding

Rikki makes the side and prowls around the covers as Anderson's finest deliveries thud into the boundary boards.

Then - triumph!

Darren Gough bowls a pile of old tripe to that other pile of old tripe, Herschelle Gibbs. An attempted something over the off side is safely pouched by the tumbling Rikki. Well done, my boy. False teeth are rattling in the West Midlands.

Bowling

Despite the fact that Clarke was swinging his arms around valiantly in a bid to attract the skipper's attention, Michael Vaughan was always looking at his shoes, the clouds or Simon Taufel's stetson. Consequently South Africa were permitted to limp along to 198-9. Who knows? If Clarke had bowled, it could have been 298-9 and GAME ON!

Batting

Well, what can we say? After the departure of Freddie, Rikki came in and gave it some stick. Six fours a six and oh-so-nearly made it through to the end. Almost to order, he fell two runs short of the end having made a thoroughly accomplished 37 in 34 balls.

Season to date

A deckchair-rocking 2.9 on the Rikkiter scale. This boy has certainly made the earth move on a couple of occasions in recent weeks - well, maybe a bit of a judder (although it could have been someone dropping a tray of drinks). The skin is definitely off the rice pudding now.

Current match

The Rikkiter scale registered an almighty 4.7 tonight as the whole of Edgbaston was rocked to its foundations. I think that it must have been the beans he had at breakfast. An inhabitant of Hagley Road, Birmingham, reported seeing at least one cat falling off a hot tin roof, although this may have had more to do with her having picked an Elizabeth Taylor/Paul Newman film up from Blockbuster Video than anything to do with cricket.


Posted by Eddie